Family Trip to Wild Waves Rebranded as Mother’s Day Gift
Previously thought of as a semi-routine family outing, one local family surprised their beloved matriarch, Deborah Franek, today by rebranding this weekend’s planned trip...
Gov. Inslee Confirms Plans to Set Vaccine Eligibility-to-All Date but ‘New Phone is Being Weird’
As almost all states in the country announce dates that COVID-19 vaccines will be eligible to all before May 1, Gov. Jay Inslee promised...
Seattle Changes City Limits Specifically to Incorporate Central Market Shoreline
The City of Seattle finalized an agreement with the City of Shoreline today to change the northernmost city limits at 145th street so that...
‘U Up?’ Text Steadily Migrating Closer to 10 p.m. With Each Passing Year
In what used to be a regular 2 a.m. ritual, one aging fuckboy’s late-night hookup texts have steadily migrated closer to an optimal bedtime...
Salumi Deli Announces New Charcuterie Replacement Shakes for Gals on the Go
Legendary Seattle delicatessen Salumi has announced they are expanding their menu with a new line of convenient Charcuterie Replacement Shakes for gals on the...
Willows Inn Responds to NYT Exposé with Statement Released in Small, Unsatisfying Portions
Following the New York Times’ expose of worker abuses at the famed fine dining destination on Washington’s Lummi Island, Willows Inn Chef Blaine Wetzel...
Sound Transit Announces 3 New Light Rail Station Escalators Already Broken
Today Sound Transit announced that this fall’s opening of three new light rail stations in North Seattle aren’t the only plans that are ahead...
Next Season of Naked and Afraid to Be Filmed in the Amazon Balls
Quickly overshadowing Monday’s local reality TV news that Renton native Katie Thurston will be star of ABC’s next Bachelorette, the Discovery Channel announced today...
Boomer Whispers ‘Vegan’ In Same Hushed Tone as ‘Cancer’
At a family gathering today, local baby boomer Aunt Patty shared news of millennial niece Grace Wilson’s decision to go vegan in the same...
Ballard Man “Likes the Idea” of Woodworking
In addition to hobbies such as sneering at beer and recounting unlistenable fishing stories, Ballard man Cole Wilkinson recently toyed with enjoying “the idea”...
