New Family Friendly Brewery To Lock Kids In Padded Room While Parents Get Shithoused
In a move that has local parents raving, the owner of Enfant Terrible Brewing has announced that its new Greenwood location provides a padded,...
Majestic Lake Washington Bald Eagle Shits on Car
A lone bald eagle glided across the still waters of Lake Washington and swooped through the tall Seward Park spruces this afternoon before unleashing...
Disappointing: Dale Chihuly Reveals Not a Single Thing in Glass Museum is a Bong
Glass-blowing enthusiasts and stoners alike are distraught today after an interview with world-famous glass artist Dale Chihuly revealed that not a single thing in...
Dog Daycare Significantly Nicer Than Nearby Public School
As public school funding continues to decrease across the country, local teachers began to express concern that the nearby dog daycare, the Muttessori Pawcademy,...
All Clever IPA Names Tapped Out
Upstart Georgetown brewery owners Steve and Greg Ward were left high and dry today when they learned that all clever hop-based IPA puns had...
34% of Local Billionaires Report Living Paycheck-to-Paycheck
In yet another sign of economic downturn, a recent report shows 34 percent of Seattle billionaires are currently living paycheck-to-paycheck.
“If things don’t improve soon,...
Only Anti-Choice King County Councilmember Still Kinda Hoping Only Local Right-Wing Nutjobs Know Who He Is
As local pro-choice advocates protest the dismantling of national human rights to privacy and bodily autonomy while continuing to look for productive ways to...
Spokane Moms Excited to See You Sunday, Remind You Seattle Is Crime-infested Hellhole
Moms throughout Spokane are reportedly eagerly awaiting Mother’s Day to see you in person for a really big, long hug, and a kiss while...
Florida Bans ‘LGBTQ’ from Alphabet
In his latest attempt to block Floridians' exposure to homosexuality, today Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis issued a declaration to officially ban the letters L,...
Local Dad Overdoses on Gifted Smoked Salmon Boxes
What was supposed to be a joyous day of puns and sensible car recommendations took a scary turn as local father Michael Chrisman overdosed...
