Date Fails to Impress with Dave Matthews Encounter Story
Despite a carefully honed exposition designed to hold suspense until his tale’s climactic reveal, tonight Ravenna resident Jacob Bransen failed to impress Tinder date...
‘Just a Reminder That the Corporate Office Has A/C,’ Reads Helpful Email from Satan
Just as local remote workers were set to begin another sweltering day at home chained to their laptops this morning, they were reportedly reminded...
Uvalde Police Department Unveils New Thin Yellow Line Flag
To commemorate all the bodily fluids lost while assaulting parents trying to rescue their children from an active shooter, today the Uvalde Police Department...
New Gerrymandered Maps Somehow Puts Pike Place Market in Bellevue
Following a series of heavily gerrymandered maps sweeping the country, a new proposed King County map would somehow place Pike Place Market within the...
MOHAI Curator Wakes Up from Nightmare About Acquiring Gum Wall
After a tormented night of believing the Gum Wall would be the next Seattle landmark getting donated to MOHAI to make way for construction...
Passengers Banging in Amtrak Bathroom Join New Low Club
Forgoing the classic thrills of the mile high club, one adventurous couple decided to hit a new low today after banging in the bathroom...
All ‘One Seattle Day of Service’ Tasks Mysteriously Involve Mayor Harrell’s Household Chores
As a spirit of goodwill descended upon the Emerald City for its first One Seattle Day of Service this weekend, hundreds of volunteers were...
Heroic Coworker Spares Team Happy Hour of Plans to Backpack The Enchantments This Weekend
An entire marketing department was rescued from a long, excruciating physical and psychological horror today at a Downtown Yard House happy hour when a heroic...
Mariners Spotted Having Steamy Summer Fling with Winning
Move over Bennifer: Several witnesses are reporting that what initially seemed at best a one-night stand or crazy weekend on the road between the...
Queen Anne Residents Create Little Free Pantry for Those Making Under $600k
In an effort to provide support to those desperately in need, today Queen Anne residents unveiled a newly constructed “Little Free Pantry” for all...
