How to Mentally Prepare Yourself for the Mariners’ Season to Collapse Like the Tacoma Narrows Bridge
It’s mid-August and right about now a familiar thought creeps into the back of every fan’s mind—when is this whole thing going to fall...
New Seattle Mask Policy is Vague Sense of Shame No Matter What You Do
As Covid numbers surge once again, today Seattle and King County officials instituted a new local mask policy of feeling a small, nagging sense...
Seattle Magazine Designates Ellensburg ‘Best Pee Break in Washington’
Move aside Cle Elum – ain’t nobody got time for number two: According to Seattle Magazine, this year’s top pee break in Washington state...
MOHAI Denies Kim Kardashian’s Request to Wear J.P. Patches’ Jacket
Following Kim Kardashian’s controversial wearing of Marilyn Monroe’s gown for the Met Gala in May, Seattle’s Museum of History & Industry (MOHAI) confirmed today...
Washington Health Officials Just Gonna Assume Local Monkeypox Outbreak Originated at Gum Wall
Officials from the Washington Health Department held a press conference today to announce that they’re just gonna assume a local outbreak of monkeypox most...
Portland Formally Requests To “Crash On Seattle’s Couch For A Few More Weeks”
A handwritten message on the back of a bar receipt found early this afternoon confirms that Portland, Ore. has officially requested to extend its...
God Crushes Earth in Hydraulic Press for TikTok Video
The Judeo-Christian God went viral today on TikTok after placing the planet earth within his at-home hydraulic press and crushing it until it exploded...
Seattle Freeze? This Woman Got All Weird After I Asked to Pet Her Baby
Before I moved to Seattle, everyone warned me about three things: bad weather, worse traffic, and the Seattle Freeze. As a parent, I heard...
Ivar’s Begins Serving Iced Clam Chowder Just in Time for Summer
Local iced lavender lattes became suddenly irrelevant overnight as local seafood chain, Ivar’s, announced their seasonal iced clam chowder drinks are now available just...
Jenny Durkan Named ‘Special Corruption Advisor’ Ahead of 2026 FIFA World Cup
Losing no time to prepare after today’s announcement that Seattle would host 2026 World Cup games, FIFA’s president named former Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan...
