Macklemore Spotted Lurking Near Climate Pledge Arena Just in Case Kraken Need a Rally Song
With baseball season over and hockey season underway, today local musician Macklemore was spotted lurking near Climate Pledge Arena just in case the Kraken...
‘Sooo … I Did a Thing … ,’ Says Landlord Raising Rent 10%
In a surprise announcement on social media this week, local landlord Stan Finck proudly and bashfully revealed that he has a rent increase coming...
City’s Sick Toddlers Announce Plans to Sneeze in Your Face
In a seemingly inevitable move the city feared was coming all week, today Seattle’s sick toddlers formally announced plans to sneeze in your face...
First-ever Mariner Moose Streaking Recorded at Mount Rainier National Park
For the first time in recorded history, today wildlife experts confirmed the first-ever sighting of a Mariner Moose streaking buck-naked at Mount Rainier National...
Seattle Approves New Ranked-Choice Christmas Gift List Legislation
By a narrow margin, today Seattle became the first city in the country to approve ranked-choice Christmas gift list legislation.
“You used to have to...
SPOG Head Slams City Leadership for Re-Un-Defunding the Police
In what he’s calling yet another unprovoked and unreasonable $15 million attack on local public safety, Seattle Police Officers Guild President Mike Solan said...
Family Flees Airbnb After Ghost Writes Bloody List of Chores on Wall
One local family fled for their lives this weekend after a ghost haunting their Airbnb scrawled a bloody list of household chores they were...
Local Tech CEO Promises Equal Pay, Equal Harassment
Today the CEO of local tech startup Bootstrappr announced they would be the first in the industry to ensure every single one of their...
Man Dressed as Gandalf in Bikini Grossly Misunderstands ‘Sexy Fantasy’ Theme at Halloween Party
Standing out amongst a sea of scantily clad nurses and pizza deliverymen, one man allegedly gruesomely misunderstood the “sexy fantasy” theme at a local...
Report: 87% of Boomer Scary Stories Start ‘Once Upon a 3rd and Pine’
As the countdown to Halloween continues, a new report revealed that 87% of Boomer scary stories reliably start with ‘Once Upon a Third and...
