Man’s Front Yard Turns Into Cold-Blooded Murder Scene
One Seattle man is suddenly mourning the sense of safety he once had entering his front yard after discovering it’s now a full-fledged murder...
LA Expats to Annex Golden Gardens
After much speculation, it turns out rumors swirling since Seattle’s early May heatwave are true: The city’s Los Angeles expatriates have officially annexed Golden...
“He Is Risen” Proclaim Bernie Faithful 3 Years Post-DNC Crucifixion
Bernie Sanders’ faithful followers are rejoicing this morning to see him baring political battle wounds once feared mortal.
Calling the comeback a miracle to...
Presidential Hopeful Jay Inslee Touts Seattle Freeze As Answer to Global Warming
In a CNN Town Hall aired live Wednesday night, Wash. State Governor Jay Inslee argued he was uniquely qualified to elevate public discourse on...
Woman Takes Perverse Pleasure in Being Rained On
One woman exposed herself in public today as someone who takes perverse pleasure in being rained on, according to several witnesses who just moved...
Local Mom Guns It in I-5 Fast Lane with Extra 5 MPH
While driving onto the broad girth of Interstate 5 above South Lake Union this morning, an unidentified working mother merged unexpectedly into the fast...
Seattle Aquarium Touch Tide Pool Begs For Mercy
This May brings the 42nd anniversary of the
Seattle Aquarium on Pier 59 and, with it, touch tide pool dwellers begging for
sweet mercy.
Residents of the...
Highway 99 Disappointed It Never Got to 100
In an exclusive tell-all interview, Washington State Route 99 confessed to an overwhelming sense of self-defeat for never making it to 100. "For...
#TBT: The Needling’s Top 5 March Headlines
If you didn't read our top 5 articles from last month, where were you? Trapped on some confederate ranch in Moses Lake? Getting airlifted...
Tragedy Strikes Local Who Went to Paris That One Time
Following the burning of Paris’ Notre-Dame Cathedral on Monday, local wanderluster Bethany Pierce took to social media to voice the personal tragedy she’s now...
