Nordstromrack Family to Sell Store Chain for Up to 70% Off Regularly Marked Price
Downtown Seattle – As the Nordstrom family looks to sell the privately-owned luxury department store chain, the Nordstromrack family is looking to sell as...
Standing Officially Eclipses Driving, Biking, and Walking as Quickest Transportation Across Town, Study Finds
A new study has determined that the local construction rate of new apartments, offices, stores and cafes has officially reached a point that makes...
Breaking: Husband Wants You to Make Him a Sammamish
We’re interrupting your regularly scheduled routine with this breaking report that just came in from the living room: Your husband is stuck in front...
UW College Republicans Launch Campaign to Reclaim the “W-Word”
A Special Report to The Needling from our Off Leash News correspondents at the University of Washington
In Off Leash News’ exclusive sit-down interview today...
Seattle Times Reporter Copies and Pastes Article About Rising Rent for 18th Straight Month
South Lake Union – Local real estate reporter Winston Samuels has copied and pasted the same article about rising rent for the 18th straight...
Man’s Front Yard Turns Into Cold-Blooded Murder Scene
One Seattle man is suddenly mourning the sense of safety he once had entering his front yard after discovering it’s now a full-fledged murder...
LA Expats to Annex Golden Gardens
After much speculation, it turns out rumors swirling since Seattle’s early May heatwave are true: The city’s Los Angeles expatriates have officially annexed Golden...
“He Is Risen” Proclaim Bernie Faithful 3 Years Post-DNC Crucifixion
Bernie Sanders’ faithful followers are rejoicing this morning to see him baring political battle wounds once feared mortal.
Calling the comeback a miracle to...
Presidential Hopeful Jay Inslee Touts Seattle Freeze As Answer to Global Warming
In a CNN Town Hall aired live Wednesday night, Wash. State Governor Jay Inslee argued he was uniquely qualified to elevate public discourse on...
Woman Takes Perverse Pleasure in Being Rained On
One woman exposed herself in public today as someone who takes perverse pleasure in being rained on, according to several witnesses who just moved...
