Modern-Day Casanova Sets First Zoom Date as ‘Recurring Meeting’
The online dating world was set aflutter today as word spread that one modern-day Casanova has been pre-emptively setting first dates up as ‘recurring...
Following Campus Attacks, Betsy DeVos Eager to Hear Virus’s Side of the Story
Although recent school and college reopenings immediately resulted in raging COVID-19 outbreaks infecting thousands of students and nearby residents, today U.S. Secretary of Education...
Wolverines Return to Washington State Convention Center for First Time Since Comic Con
Animal conservationists and comic book nerds alike are abuzz today after this morning’s surprise sighting of the first Wolverines to return to the Washington...
Local Woman’s Nightly Self-Care Routine Just Switching to Series of Smaller Devices
Local Instagram influencer Megan Murray has garnered public praise in health and wellness circles today after finally spilling the secrets of her highly successful...
Officer Just Likes to Watch
While many of its police officers have been accused of excessive force and a wanton disregard for the right to peacefully protest, the Seattle...
Underperforming Succulent Relegated to Toilet Decoration
After weeks of hoping for improvement came to no avail, avid Wallingford house-plant recruiter Martin Blanc said he made the difficult choice today to...
Desperate Republican Party Exhumes Ronald Reagan’s Body for RNC
With President Trump’s poll numbers lagging behind and desperation setting into the Republican party, his sons, Eric and Don Jr., have reportedly exhumed the...
Gov. Inslee Under White House Pressure to Add Trump’s Face to Gum Wall
Following a recent inquiry President Trump made about having his head added to Mount Rushmore, details have emerged of a call Governor Jay Inslee...
Mega Yacht in Elliott Bay Sure Sign Some Fucked Up Rich Guy Shit Going Down
A glamorous mega-yacht has made a surprise appearance in Elliott Bay overnight, leaving curious Seattle residents and local reporters to speculate what kind of...
Local Woman Starting to Miss Sweet Summertime Caress of Office Hypothermia
Sweaty and steamy from hours of working remotely at home, one local woman says she can’t keep her thoughts from drifting to memories of...
