Mariners Prepare to Welcome Back Fan to T-Mobile
As Washington COVID cases continue to decrease, part of Gov. Inslee’s Phase Three plan includes allowing the Mariners fan to attend opening day on...
Boeing CEO Relieved to Learn Shower of Fiery Debris Not One of Theirs
While residents across the Pacific Northwest were captivated by a shower of fiery debris streaking across the Thursday night sky, Boeing’s CEO was reportedly...
LA Transplant Salivating at Chance to One-Up Traffic Complaint
After what was meant to be a coworker’s innocuous comment about a frustrating drive back to West Seattle, local Los Angeles transplant Oliver Marlow...
Sheriff Falsely Accusing Black Man of Death Threats Just Had a ‘Vewy Bad Day’
After being caught falsely accusing an innocent black man delivering newspapers of death threats, law enforcement officials are saying Pierce County Sheriff Ed Troyer...
Unkempt Skagit Valley Tulips Engulf La Conner
A year’s worth of out-of-control, untended-to tulips descended upon La Conner, home of last year’s cancelled Skagit Valley Tulip Festival, engulfing the bulbous town...
Mayor Durkan Brings Sonics Back to Seattle Center Food Court
Fulfilling a promise she made long ago, today Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan announced that she’s finally brought the Sonics back to the Seattle Center...
Panicked Introverts Begin Inventing New Excuses as Vaccine Rolls Out
As vaccine rollouts continue at a remarkable pace, reports indicate frightened introverts across the nation have begun the long, difficult process of creating new...
Shocking! Controlling Man Declines Offer to Control Own Damn Self
Despite being a big fan of controlling how women, people of color and low-income residents should live their lives, local control freak, cop and...
Local Q-Anon Oscar Nominees Thank Academy of Child-Eating Lizardmen for Conspiring to Bestow Distinct Honor
Washington state Q-Anon stars of Borat Subsequent Moviefilm humbly thanked the Academy of Child-Eating Lizardmen today for conspiring to bestow upon them recognition for...
Jesus Hits Snooze Button, Will Rise Again Once Everyone Is Vaccinated
Son of God, Jesus Christ, announced this morning his annual resurrection re-enactment has officially been postponed by snooze button as he continues sleeping in...
