Ballard Locks Apologizes for Inviting Community to ‘Come for Locktober’
The Ballard Locks issued an official apology today for a social media post inviting the community to come and celebrate "Locktober" with them this...
Feminist Ally Tips Stripper With Democracy Vouchers
In a show of incredible sex worker solidarity, tonight one selfless feminist ally tipped a stripper with all four of his $25 Seattle democracy...
National Guard Already Lost at Powell’s Books
Within hours of arriving in war-ravaged Portland, hundreds of National Guard troops are reportedly already lost at Powell’s Books.
“What floor is this? Show yourselves,...
Mariners Fans Still Skeptical They’ll Be AL West Champs
After the Mariners triumphantly broke a 24-year division title drought Wednesday night, Seattle M’s fans confessed they’re still highly skeptical that they have a...
Dad Concerned About The Big One Wants You to Move Back to Tornado Alley
Sources are reporting that your dad—who currently lives in an area where severe weather events put trees into the side of buildings and then...
Trump Grows Bored of Tariffs After Learning an Even Newer Word
Donald Trump suddenly reversed his stance on tariffs after an intern made the rookie mistake of saying an even newer word in his company,...
Midnight Light Rail Test Last Time It Will Ever Run That Late
After making its first picturesque and historic voyage across Lake Washington in a midnight light rail test last week, today Sound Transit confirmed that...
Missing Link Found Alive and Shivering in Seattle City Councilmember’s Basement
The 1.4-mile gap of the Burke-Gilman Trail missing for over 30 years was freed from the damp, padlocked basement of Seattle City Councilmember Dan...
Last Public Bathroom Dies in Captivity
Seattle’s last public bathroom, “Brownie”, died last night in her Downtown home, marking 57 years since she was separated from her wild, unlocked pod...
World Mental Health Day Pushed Down and Ignored
In yet another major win for the emotionally checked-out, advocates’ efforts to spread awareness of resources for today’s World Mental Health Day were once...
