Magnolia Named World’s Most Dangerous Neighborhood by Magnolia
Frazzled, bullet-grazed and red lipstick-kissed, crime researchers arrived at a press conference Tuesday evening in window-smashed cars to confirm that Magnolia is the most...
#TBT: The Needling’s 5 Top-Read Posts for January
January 2019: Picture it! The Seattle metro area before it knew God was going to make one giant coke line out of it for...
International District Renamed Everywhere District
Seattle residents are applauding the renaming of the International District, colloquially known as “the ID”, to the more inclusive Everywhere District.
“It’s really a big...
Remote Worker Still Not Remotely Aware She Lives in Igloo Now
Friends of Greenwood remote worker Hannah Ricks are reporting that she seems to be completely unaware that she lives in an igloo now.
“I...
Revealed: Nude Photos Show Bezos Betrayed Us All
Nude photos of Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos, exclusively acquired by The Needling, show that the nature of betrayal in his secret affairs...
Local Hipster Starts New Seattle Arts Magazine, Realizes She Doesn’t Have The Right Haircut
Local hipster Sarah E. Miller was dead-set on starting a new kind of Seattle arts magazine when she realized, to her horror, that she...
“Seattle Squeeze? Yes, Please!” Jokes Divorcee Desperate For Warmth Of Human Touch
The closure of the Alaskan Way Viaduct has strained traffic around the region for weeks, causing tempers to flare for many – but not...
Howard Schultz Apologizes for Associating Seattle with Burnt Coffee
Howard Schultz has finally issued a mea culpa to Seattle for forever linking the city with his burnt, flavorless Starbucks coffee.
“It’s on me,”...
Nextdoor Reveals Fill-in-the-Blank Template for Suspicious Neighborhood Activity Posts
Title
Time
Dark Color
Street Name in an Affluent White Neighborhood
Part of House
Luxury Car Brand
Local Shopping Area
Article of Clothing
...
Last Street In Seattle Open To Traffic Now Closed For Repairs
The Seattle Department of Transportation announced Monday afternoon that 4th Avenue — the only street in Seattle that was still left open...
