Indefinite SR 99 Construction Also Applying For Historic Landmark Status
Hot on the heels of The Showbox music venue’s push for landmark status, another enduring city feature has applied for landmark status of its...
New Startup “WatR” Enters Home, Tends To Plants You’re Murdering With Negligence
WatR, a new startup described as Rover for house plants,
is being hailed an overnight success for overwhelmed millennials struggling to
provide the absolute bare minimum...
Edgy: This Alt Weekly Contrarian Knows What to Think After Seeing What Everyone Else Thinks First
Capitol Hill — Most opinions on current events posted online these days preach and pander to the choir.
Not so with edgy local columnist...
Seattle Has 50 Names for Salmon: Here Are 38 of Them
1. Copper River
2. King
3. Coho
4. Chinook
5. The Ol’ Silverskinned Boat Boarder
6. Shiny Lips
7. Milt Machine
8. Chum Salmon
9. Mookie Blaylock
10. He Who Shall Not Be...
“The Women’s World Cup Is a Joke” Says Man Who Hasn’t Seen Own Penis Since ‘97
Local sports fan Bart Thompson, whose general state of being could best be classified as a man-made environmental disaster, decided today to belittle the...
Waiter Resists Strangling Gluten-free, Dairy-free Pescetarian
Coworkers of Tilikum Place Cafe waiter Stephen Marlow celebrated a late dinner-rush win tonight when he managed to resist strangling yet another diner who...
UW Astronomers Report Entire Universe Comprised of Small Water Droplets
In a groundbreaking announcement, scientists at the University of Washington’s Theodor Jacobsen Observatory report that outer space appears to be nothing but small beads...
Confirmed: Painted Fremont Solstice Reveler to Postpone Shower Til After Pride
After much speculation, sources have confirmed that the glittered rainbow body paint applied to Seth McHutchins’ body for Saturday’s Fremont Solstice Parade will not...
Eastern Washington Militia Doesn’t Even Have Single Fleeing Oregon Senator In Compound
A remote Eastern Washington militia is crestfallen after failing to persuade a single Republican Oregon state senator to valiantly run shrieking to their compound...
Construction Workers Who Direct Street Traffic to Now Double as Life Coaches
All those orange and yellow-suited construction workers who spend so much time telling people where to go on Seattle's streets will now start telling...
