Panicked Social Media Managers Furiously Crank Out Kwanzaa Tweet
A silent night turned into a cacophony of clattering keyboards as the nation’s social media managers roused from their beds last night to crank...
‘Holiday Family Runaway 5K’ Participants Turn to Bitter Cold to Escape Loving Family
In what has become an annual Seward
Park tradition, a group of die-hard holiday fun runners have once again turned
to the bitter winter cold to...
OSHA Announces Mistletoe Buyback Program in Exchange for Sexual Harassment Training
Recognizing the hazards of mistletoe in office settings, OSHA has formed a special task force for a no-questions-asked buyback program to get this dangerous...
Ghost of Christmas Future On Floor Gently Rocking Self Back and Forth After Visiting Jeff Bezos
One of the Ghost of Christmas Future’s customary visits to a wealth-hoarding tycoon ended abruptly this morning after a brief glimpse into Jeff Bezos’...
Boeing Promises New 737 AXE Line Is ‘Legit, Hella Safe’
In a surprise press conference this afternoon, Boeing executives
revealed a new set of airliners dubbed the 737 AXE, adamantly emphasizing that
they are “legit” and...
Mike O’Brien to Cap Seattle City Council Term with Week-Long Fossil Fuel Bender
After a 10-year run that included biking to work and kayak-blocking Shell’s arctic oil rig, outgoing Seattle City Councilmember Mike O’Brien confirmed at his...
Santa Going Green with Sound Transit, Promises Presents By July
Bowing to pressure from the Elf Liberation Front, Santa announced today that Christmas is going extra green this year in the Seattle area with...
Beth’s Cafe Celebrates 10,000th Heart Attack
Seattle’s favorite greasy spoon since 1954 and home of the 12-egg omelet, Beth’s Café, proudly announced today that it had reached its 10,000th customer...
King County Public Health Officials Add Mr. Yuk Rating
In an effort to even better assist restaurant patrons with making wise dining choices, Public Health Seattle & King County announced today the addition...
The Lover’s Guide to the 2019 Filson Catalog
Its unmistakable leather fragrance arrives
hidden in a stack of what first appears to be a pile of non-descript junk mail,
Safeway flyers and the ValPak...
