Discovery of Ancient Temple of the Dog Liner Notes Could Serve as Rosetta’s Stone to Decipher Eddie Vedder Lyrics
Seattle’s music scene was abuzz today after the discovery of an ancient Temple of the Dog record with intact liner notes gave grunge scholars...
UW Cherry Blossoms Just Want to Ejaculate Pollen in Peace
In an unprecedented press conference today in The Quad, University of Washington cherry blossom trees announced all they want is to just ejaculate some...
Climate-Conscious Realtor Listing Waterfront Homes 2 Miles Inland
As the manmade climate disaster marches ever forward, one climate-conscious realtor is taking a proactive approach to the impending environmental apocalypse by listing waterfront...
Wallingford Community Council Says No to Egg Hunts in Their Backyards
In a unanimous decision today, the Wallingford Community Council voted no on allowing egg hunts in any of their aspirational historic district’s backyards for...
Breaking: Ben Gibbard’s Hair Still Looks Like That
According to several witnesses who just strolled down Pine on Capitol Hill, it appears Death Cab for Cutie’s frontman Ben Gibbard is still cutting...
KOMO News Wordle Just ‘CRIME’ Again
Word puzzle enthusiasts woke up this morning to discover that the daily KOMORDLE, the KOMO News version of the national sensation Wordle, was just...
The Needling Issues Cease-and-Desist Orders to Local Real Fake News Copycats
Suddenly attacked today from every direction by rampant local real fake news copycats, this afternoon The Needling announced it had issued cease-and-desist orders to...
Portland Startup to Mine Artisanal Bitcoin Using Only Slide Rules and Graph Paper
A pair of Portland entrepreneurs say they’re bringing authenticity back to Bitcoin mining by eschewing purpose-built AntMiner S19 Pros in favor of hand-crafted hash...
Climate Catastrophe? This Skinny Glacier Looks AMAZING
While experts disagree on the exact date a climate Armageddon will inevitably crush most life on the planet, climate scientists are unanimous in their...
Territory Between Fremont and Ballard to Be Officially Recognized as ‘FreeBall’
After years of juggling different names that caused friction in the area dangling between Ballard and Fremont, its residents officially announced today they have...
