Lil Nas X Tells All About Filming Hell Scenes for ‘Montero’ in Cle Elum
Rapper Lil Nas X revealed today that his instant hit video for "Montero (Call Me By Your Name)" was saved from going over-budget simply...
Unkempt Skagit Valley Tulips Engulf La Conner
A year’s worth of out-of-control, untended-to tulips descended upon La Conner, home of last year’s cancelled Skagit Valley Tulip Festival, engulfing the bulbous town...
Metro Transit to Offer Special ‘Chase That Bus’ Outdoor Fitness Classes
Fan favorite King County Metro announced today that they will begin offering a new service for area residents during the pandemic: cardio classes modeled...
Panicked Introverts Begin Inventing New Excuses as Vaccine Rolls Out
As vaccine rollouts continue at a remarkable pace, reports indicate frightened introverts across the nation have begun the long, difficult process of creating new...
Shocking! Controlling Man Declines Offer to Control Own Damn Self
Despite being a big fan of controlling how women, people of color and low-income residents should live their lives, local control freak, cop and...
Local Q-Anon Oscar Nominees Thank Academy of Child-Eating Lizardmen for Conspiring to Bestow Distinct Honor
Washington state Q-Anon stars of Borat Subsequent Moviefilm humbly thanked the Academy of Child-Eating Lizardmen today for conspiring to bestow upon them recognition for...
Jesus Hits Snooze Button, Will Rise Again Once Everyone Is Vaccinated
Son of God, Jesus Christ, announced this morning his annual resurrection re-enactment has officially been postponed by snooze button as he continues sleeping in...
Jesus Returns, Sees Tech Bro Riding a Onewheel, Reascends
The firstborn son of the creator of the universe, Jesus Harrison Christ, briefly returned to Earth this morning before witnessing a young human man...
Son Successfully Lures Dad to Vaccination Appointment with $25 Treat from Tommy Bahama
With the time window for his 67-year-old father’s priority vaccine access almost over, exasperated local son Garrett Hearns said he’s finally coaxed his father...
KEXP Holds Eddie Vedder Hostage Until Pledge Goal Met
In a shocking turn of events, it has become apparent that KEXP officials have kidnapped Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder, and are holding...
