Starbucks Introduces New Pumpkin Spice HEPA Filters
Determined to pump just as many customers with pumpkin spice spirit as ever despite oppressive wildfire smoke and resurfacing pandemic conditions, Starbucks released a...
Seattle Reggae Festival Books Real-Life Black Man
Proving its genuine commitment and respect to the historical roots of reggae in Black culture, today the Seattle Reggae Festival proudly announced one of...
Seattle Aquarium Touch Tide Pool Begs For Mercy
Years of quiet patience finally ran out today at Seattle Aquarium’s touch tidepool where starfish, anemones, sea cucumbers and many others came together to...
Cool Thing Somehow Misplaced in Bellevue
Local officials announced today that they are opening a formal investigation into how a thing that is honestly pretty fucking cool ended up somehow...
Hidden Speakeasy Entrance Actually Just Some Guy’s Kitchen Window
The hottest new speakeasy in town abruptly shut down today after it was revealed that patrons had mistaken his kitchen window for a hidden...
Wunderkind! This 8-year-old Designs Seattle’s Hottest Houses with Microsoft Paint
Bradynn Petersen is just like any other 8-year-old: He does his homework, plays soccer, and his favorite food is pepperoni pizza.
But there’s one...
Discovery Park Blackberry Bushes Pick Off Straggling Jogger
A relaxing after-work jog turned deadly for one man today after he fell behind his jogging pack and was picked off by the voracious...
Seattle Thanks Blue Angels’ Smoke Trails for First Overcast Weekend In Ages
Despite the value of the Blue Angels’ annual Seafair Airshow becoming increasingly divisive in Seattle, the entire city came together today to thank the...
Eligible Voter Sitting Out Local Primary So They Can Hate General Election Options Enough to Not Vote in That Either
In what experts at democracy are calling a move of pure genius, local eligible voter Noah Clark is sitting out today’s local primary election...
Neighborhood Dads’ Lawn Care Cycles Sync After Father’s Day Fishing Trip
In a testament to how deeply they bonded together on a Father’s Day fishing trip this last weekend, the lawn care cycles of a...
