Long-term Study of College Cannabis Use Forgets Why
Today the results of a highly anticipated, long-term study on the effects of cannabis use on college students were expected to be released until...
Seattle Police Department Forms ‘Male Nipple Exposure Prevention Task Force’
Following a weekend raid on Seattle gay bars that resulted in several citation threats for the “exposure of a male nipple,” today the Seattle...
King County Public Health Asks That If You’re Freakin,’ Please Call a Crisis Hotline, Not Beacon
Today King County Public Health advised local residents who may be freakin’ to contact the Crisis Connections Hotline and not call Beacon.
“I know the...
Bruce Harrell Touts Gingerbread Village As Solution to Housing Crisis
Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell embraced the Season of Giving and gave an early Christmas present to the city’s homeless population today by announcing that...
Aroma of Tacoma Returns After Bullshit Verdict Drops in Manuel Ellis Case
The aroma of Tacoma re-emerged today with brutal force after an enormous pile of bullshit was dropped in a Pierce County courtroom where three...
‘The Weather Isn’t That Bad,’ Says Woman Using 6 Forms of Artificial Sunlight
According to one local woman who cocoons in at least six artificial forms of sunlight a day, Seattle weather reportedly “really isn’t that bad.”
“The...
Local Ceasefire Advocates’ Empathy for Dying Children Waning as Russia, China Delay Payment for Supporting Palestine
With rent due in just a few days, local ceasefire advocates say their empathy is running thin for thousands of children dying in the...
‘And What Are You Gonna Do About It?’ Pelosi Tells Young Voters As She Orders FBI to Take Away Their Pokémon Cards
In a move many suspect may be an unproductive way to get President Joe Biden re-elected, today Rep. Nancy Pelosi ordered the FBI to...
Dry January Fully Supported by Boyfriend Who Won’t Go Down On You
One local woman says she’s less than a week away from finishing a successful Dry January, and it’s all thanks to being supported all...
Man Discovers He Actually Lives in Kenmore, Not Bothell
A three-year investigation into why Pagliacci Pizza delivery boys could never find Doug Frankel’s Bothell-based address has concluded that he does not, in fact,...
