Film Fanatic Cousin Ruins Holiday Telling Everyone Where All the Easter Eggs Are
Today a local holiday family gathering was completely upended when a film fanatic cousin couldn’t stop telling everyone where all the Easter eggs were.
“You...
Professional Pickleball and 5 Other Sports to Follow Instead of Letting the Mariners Disappoint You Again
Look: It’s Opening Day and the Mariners are looking fine and crisp in their new uniforms for the first game of the season. It’s...
Boeing Stock Rebounds After Front Half of 737 MAX Lands Safely
After countless potentially deadly mechanical issues tanked the once stellar safety reputation of the nation’s only commercial airplane manufacturer, this morning Boeing stocks finally...
CDC Replaces At-Home Testing with Sneezing into Someone’s Face, Seeing If They Get Sick
After months of asking for a more updated and reliable way of testing whether they’re infected with the latest variant of Covid, this morning...
Citing Need to Attract More Assholes, SPD Adds Teslas to Fleet
After years of struggling to recruit enough assholes into its ranks, today the City of Seattle said it would be adding Teslas to its...
Baby Poked in Eye by Faulty Spoon Airplane Manufactured by Boeing
Boeing came under fire once again today after it was revealed that a baby was poked in the eye by a faulty Boeing 737...
Best Local Church Can Offer Man Seeking Super Bowl-Advertised Foot Wash Is Ash Rubbed In Face
One local man seeking the free Christian foot wash advertised during the Super Bowl this last weekend walked away from Seattle’s St. James Cathedral...
Local Shelters Running Dangerously Low on Cats for Women Who Have Recently Deleted Dating Apps
A recent surge in women deleting all of their dating apps to instead spend time cuddling in bed with a different kind of furry...
Seattle Welcomes Spring with Deafening Citywide Rattling of Iced Lattes
This week Seattle excitedly welcomed the return of the sun, clear skies and warmer weather with a deafening citywide rattling of the first iced...
Uber Eats Adds ‘CEO Yacht Fee’
Uber customers experienced an unexpected sticker shock today after an additional “CEO Yacht Fee” began appearing on orders placed within Seattle.
“First was the ‘Service...
