Man Achieves Nuclear Fusion Breakthrough With Extra 5 Minutes Boss ‘Gave Back’ to Him After Meeting Ended Early
A stunning scientific milestone was achieved today after a Seattle-based graphic designer achieved stable nuclear fusion generation with the extra time their boss "gave...
Amtrak Ad Reminds People That When Their Trains Crash, They’re Already on the Ground
Hoping they hadn’t missed the train on taking advantage of Boeing’s recent safety failures and subsequent loss of consumer trust in commercial air travel,...
City Council Grants Tourists Stuck Driving Through Pike Place Landmark Status
In a final blow to thousands of advocates for turning Pike Place Market into a car-free zone, today the Seattle City Council granted Historic...
Congress Rushes to Draft Emergency Legislation on Israel-Palestine War to Ban Macklemore
Afraid support for Israel’s relentless assaults on Palestine could further wane without taking quick action, Congress is reportedly rushing to draft bipartisan emergency legislation...
SPD Arms Officers With Bookzookas to Cover Library Closures
After this week’s announcement that Seattle libraries across the city would have to significantly reduce their hours, today Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz assured...
First Capitol Hill Resident in History Visits Friend in Other Neighborhood
Today a brave adventurer became the first Capitol Hill resident in history to ever visit a friend in another neighborhood.
“We’ve been preparing Joey for...
New Supercharged Light Rail Escalators Launch Passengers Straight From Northgate to Angle Lake
Ahead of the new northside stations opening this summer, today Sound Transit announced that it has upgraded its escalators with a supercharger that will...
Microsoft One-Ups OpenAI’s Scarlett Johansson ChatGPT Voice with New Eddie Vedder-Voiced Assistant, Jeremy
In the race to be leader of the AI era, today Microsoft one-upped OpenAI’s Scarlett Johansson-voiced ChatGPT by unveiling its new Eddie Vedder-voiced AI...
Shoreline City Council Debates Who Gets to Hold the Giant Chainsaw at Light Rail Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony
Excitement over the opening of Shoreline light rail this August boiled over into a heated debate today at a Shoreline City Council meeting over...
Cat on Leash as Weirded Out by This as You Are
Following a jaunt around Green Lake, local cat Meowntgomery Sinclair confirmed that they were just as weirded out about being seen on a leash...
