Ichiro Comedy Special Somehow Already Up on Netflix
Just a day after his unexpectedly humorous National Baseball Hall of Fame induction speech, Mariners legend Ichiro Suzuki somehow already has an hourlong standup...
‘Military Parades Are Dumb,’ Says Seattleite Who Can’t Wait for Seafair
Blowing millions of dollars on a military parade on the president’s birthday was a dumb waste of money according to one local man who...
Orca Sick of Being Watched for Free Launches OnlyFins Account
This week a local J-Pod orca tired of complaining about how many people keep staring and watching his every move decided to monetize his...
McMenamins to Challenge Itself by Restoring Historic Tacoma K-Mart
Oregon-based McMenamins—known for restoring historic PNW properties into nostalgia-packed bars and hotels—announced today they’re going to fuck around with an abandoned K-Mart in Tacoma...
Fremont Bridge Gets Laser Troll Removal
Seattle residents were stopped dead in their tracks this afternoon as the Fremont Bridge debuted a new summer look that features a complete laser...
Trump Adds Insult to Injury as He Reboots ‘Strangers with Candy’ without Stephen Colbert
In a twist of the knife after successfully getting his top-ranked late-night show cancelled, President Donald Trump is reportedly also already rebooting cult comedy...
Ballard Farmers Market Now Provided for Ambiance Only
This week the Ballard Farmers Market officially transitioned to a “vibes only” model with all the same artisan chowders, moffett berry jams, and soy-free...
‘I’ll Go to Jail to Protect Seattle,’ Says Seattle Police Chief Arresting Self
In an unprecedented moment of self-sacrificial public service, today Seattle Police Department Chief Shon Barnes said he would go to jail to protect Seattle...
Sexual Tension Builds Between the Two Guys in the Microsoft Teams Logo
After years of working closely together, sources are reporting that a steamy romance has developed between the two guys in the Microsoft Teams logo.
“From...
Man Still Spelling It ‘Capital Hill’ Somehow Finds His Way to Capitol Hill Block Party
The Seattle community is celebrating the achievement of one man who—despite still calling it “Capital Hill” a full 36 years into life—somehow miraculously figured...
