Flocks of White Women Seen Flying North As Pumpkin Spice Season Begins
Birdwatchers across the Pacific Northwest grabbed their binoculars and set their eyes on the skies in hopes of catching a glimpse of the migratory...
Microsoft Says It Only Enabling Israel’s War Crimes, Not Committing Them
After new reports of how closely the local tech giant works with Israel to surveil and kill thousands of Palestinian civilians, today CEO Satya...
ICE Only Uncovers Hideous Faces to Play Spooky Organ at Opera House
After countless videos of the terrorists in ICE refusing to unmask and identify themselves while banishing 4 year old cancer patients from hard working...
Ballard Locks Apologizes for Inviting Community to ‘Come for Locktober’
The Ballard Locks issued an official apology today for a social media post inviting the community to come and celebrate "Locktober" with them this...
Mayor Harrell Hands Reporter Bribe in Bag of Tim’s So Everyone Stops Calling Him the ‘Cuomo of Seattle’
Today Mayor Bruce Harrell attempted to bribe a Seattle Times reporter with a bag of Tim’s potato chips so local media would finally stop...
Feminist Ally Tips Stripper With Democracy Vouchers
In a show of incredible sex worker solidarity, tonight one selfless feminist ally tipped a stripper with all four of his $25 Seattle democracy...
Adam Smith Assures Voters He Remains Best Choice to Represent AIPAC and Boeing in Congress
Speaking at a town hall event today on the Eastside, U.S. Rep. Adam Smith (D) offered a strong rebuke towards his critics by reminding...
National Guard Already Lost at Powell’s Books
Within hours of arriving in war-ravaged Portland, hundreds of National Guard troops are reportedly already lost at Powell’s Books.
“What floor is this? Show yourselves,...
Mariners Fans Still Skeptical They’ll Be AL West Champs
After the Mariners triumphantly broke a 24-year division title drought Wednesday night, Seattle M’s fans confessed they’re still highly skeptical that they have a...
Dad Concerned About The Big One Wants You to Move Back to Tornado Alley
Sources are reporting that your dad—who currently lives in an area where severe weather events put trees into the side of buildings and then...
