Local Mom Guns It in I-5 Fast Lane with Extra 5 MPH
While driving onto the broad girth of Interstate 5 above South Lake Union this morning, an unidentified working mother merged unexpectedly into the fast...
Seattle Aquarium Touch Tide Pool Begs For Mercy
This May brings the 42nd anniversary of the
Seattle Aquarium on Pier 59 and, with it, touch tide pool dwellers begging for
sweet mercy.
Residents of the...
Woman’s Love Triangle Between Boyfriend and Geoduck Turns Tragic
One woman’s love triangle between her boyfriend and a geoduck she met on a Port Townsend beach last summer came to a tragic end...
Tinder Date Reeeally High
A promising first date at Kitanda Espresso in Green Lake quickly went south this evening when Gabe Noolan, a Master’s graduate of Stanford’s international...
Highway 99 Disappointed It Never Got to 100
In an exclusive tell-all interview, Washington State Route 99 confessed to an overwhelming sense of self-defeat for never making it to 100. "For...
Christopher Nolan Announces Phoenix Jones Reboot
Though Phoenix Jones’ MIA status over the last month has prompted widespread rumors of his permanent retirement, Batman movie director Christopher Nolan surprised Emerald...
#TBT: The Needling’s Top 5 March Headlines
If you didn't read our top 5 articles from last month, where were you? Trapped on some confederate ranch in Moses Lake? Getting airlifted...
Woodland Park Zoo Announces Spring Yoga with Motherfucking Tigers
It’s time to throw your tired, pedantic yoga instructor in the fucking dumpster and strap on your finest Lululemons because the motherfucking Woodland Park...
Seattle Couple Experiments with “Maybe Recyclables”
One Seattle couple is putting an end to dumping things that shouldn’t go into the mixed recycling bin — and, most importantly, all of...
Tragedy Strikes Local Who Went to Paris That One Time
Following the burning of Paris’ Notre-Dame Cathedral on Monday, local wanderluster Bethany Pierce took to social media to voice the personal tragedy she’s now...
