Defiant Elmo Storms Sesame Street City Hall Demanding Right to Be Tickled
The peaceful neighborhood of Sesame Street erupted into chaos today as popular muppet Elmo led an anti-lockdown protest to the steps of City Hall...
Jeff Bezos Donates 2 Million Human Lungs to Bolster Coronavirus Relief Efforts
Much needed help materialized for coronavirus-inundated medical staff today when local billionaire and reluctant philanthropist Jeff Bezos arrived at Harborview Medical Center with truckloads...
Child’s Hand-Me-Down Clearly Dog Sweater
A local couple is under fire today after posting an Instagram photo of their infant son, Blake, wearing a novelty “Mama’s Lil Furbaby” sweater...
Transplant in Shock Following Seattle Native’s Voluntary Wave, Eye Contact
Local California transplant Jenny Silverlake is still in shock tonight following an evening walk in which a Seattle-born neighbor voluntarily waved and greeted her...
Costco’s Kirkland Signature to Launch New Collection at Bellevue Mall Fashion Show
Local fashionistas, rejoice: This fall’s bold, cutting-edge Bellevue Mall Fashion Show will be headlined by none other than the launch of Costco’s New Kirkland...
Mike Pence Quietly Asks FDA to Remove ‘Obscene Little Buttholes’ from Oranges
Amid chaotic crisis planning to
mitigate a global pandemic, Vice President Mike Pence has reportedly also found
the time to quietly ask the FDA to remove...
Ship Collides with Giant Sewer Ball of Lysol Wipes in Puget Sound
Seattle, WA – A Carnival Freedom cruise ship struck a large trashberg of Lysol wipes floating in the middle of Puget Sound this afternoon,...
Op-Ed: While You Were All Out Buying Toilet Paper, I Bought All the Toilets
Well look at you, stuffing your shelves with all that toilet paper. Bet you thought you were gonna have yourself a nice shit, relax...
Firefighters Waiting for You to Sleep So They Can Really Crank New Siren
Firefighters at West Seattle’s Fire Station 36 are reportedly psyched about their brand new siren and are waiting until the next time you’ve reached...
Jay Inslee Will Announce New Escape Room Password Clue on May 31
Olympia, WA – Don’t give up just yet, shelter-in-place detectives: You’ve found the key to the safe containing the riddle which led to the...
