Adam Frazier Bobblehead Night Mix-up Sends Mariners Fans Home with Frasier Figurines
Mariners fans were confused AF today after a manufacturing mix-up ahead of Adam Frazier Bobblehead Night instead sent attendees home with a figurine of...
UW Quarterback Michael Penix Hasn’t Heard That One Before
After 22 years of living with the name Michael Penix Jr., the Husky star quarterback reported with delight at a pre-game press conference that...
Moose’s Paw Curls as Mariners Playoff Curse Passes to Sounders
After one local man’s wish for the Mariners’ two-decade playoff drought to end became officially realized Friday afternoon, the one and final cloven hoof...
Both WB I-90 and WB 520 Bridges to Close This Weekend Because Fuck Bellevue
After back-to-back weekends of each Lake Washington bridge taking turns with westbound closures, today WSDOT announced that both WB I-90 and WB 520 bridges...
Left Lane Camper Spotted Roaming I-5 Safely Relocated, Released onto Highway 99
Today state outdoor transportation life officials are celebrating the safe capture, relocation, and release of a local left lane camper onto Highway 99 after...
Nobel Prize Awarded to Only Downtown Coffee Shop with Open Public Bathroom
As the Nobel Committee announced its annual honors this week, today one local café was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for being the only...
Local Non-Profit Politely Declines MacKenzie Scott’s Donation of Second Husband
Today local non-profit Meals on Wheels on Wheels announced that although it was honored to be selected as a beneficiary of a donation from...
UW Staff Officially Change Job Titles to ‘Head Football Coach’ to Earn Better Pay
After two and a half years of working with no pay increase, today University of Washington staff officially changed their job titles to Head...
Squirrel Bursts into Flames Signaling Six More Weeks of Heat Wave
Seattle meteorologists confirmed an additional six weeks of record Pacific Northwest heat waves today after local common gray squirrel Pyrotechnic Pete spontaneously burst into...
Mariners Fans Still Skeptical They’ll Make Playoffs
After the Mariners triumphantly broke the longest playoff drought in men’s professional sports history Friday night, Seattle M’s fans confessed they’re still highly skeptical...
