West Seattle resident Brian Simmons, who bikes to downtown Seattle and back every day rain or shine, reportedly has opinions about fair-weather bicyclists.

“You know it’s nice that more people are riding bikes during the first few days of the Viaduct closure, but watch what happens as soon as the rain comes back,” Simmons said with an eye roll. “That’s when only the real cyclists are left on the road — the kind who don’t have time to say “on your left” even if it leaves an out-of-breath noob wobbling on their hybrid with a heart attack.”

After a brief interruption in his interview with The Needling to clippety clop on his shoes to the bathroom for a groin adjustment, Simmons’ opinions became more specific.

“You need to be out here in the rain, the snow, whatever mother nature throws at you,” Simmons said as he fixed his long ponytail. “I rode through the Nisqually earthquake literally while the earth was quaking — I mean can you even call yourself a real biker if you didn’t?”

When we asked him if he had anything else he would like to tell us, he harrumphed, “How much time you got?”