For the second night in a row, the team behind Bezos-founded space rocket company Blue Origin has gone rogue by following up their explosion of one billionaire’s launchpad in Florida with the explosion of another billionaire’s Launchpad in Seattle also known as Mark Zuckerberg’s superyacht.
“Wow, I really thought the orcas, Seafair Pirates, or Dave Matthews’ tour bus would be handling this one,” said one Seattle resident watching Zuckerberg’s once massive superyacht named Launchpad ablaze before sinking to the bottom of Lake Union. “Did not have Bezos’ own employees turning on him and every billionaire to show these rich fucks who really has been in the power seat the whole time, but I guess that’s what happens when you make people mostly live and work in Kent.”
The explosion reportedly happened when Blue Origin engineers hacked Zuckerberg’s Launchpad to fire the Burj Khalifa-shaped rocket ship pod at the top of the superyacht into space.
“No billionaire launchpads are safe right now, including Elon Musk’s SpaceX locations in California, Texas and Florida,” said FBI agent Rick Whitley. “As a precaution, we’ve also warned billionaires JB Pritzker and Tom Steyer just in case they have any launchpad-themed Lego sets.”
At press time, a very disappointed group of Seafair pirates riding orcas were seen turning around and jumping back over the Ballard Locks into the Puget Sound.
