Portage Bay Café Brunch Committee Bans Local Woman for Ordering Plain Waffle
The Portage Bay Café Brunch Committee handed down an official decision today to ban local woman Megan Thompson from weekend brunches permanently after finding her guilty of the crime of ordering nothing more interesting...
Broke Millennial Woman Freezes Eggs in Dippin’ Dots Pack
Drowning in debt and undecided about embarking on the adventure that is raising a child, one broke local millennial has opted to freeze her eggs in a low-frills, high-fun Dippin’ Dots pack.
“I was on...
Stevens Pass Solves Ski Season Staffing Problems with Unstaffed ‘Backcountry Days’
After weeks of its season pass holders complaining of overcrowded parking lots and ski lifts due to the resort not paying its workers enough to keep enough of them around, today Stevens Pass Ski...
Lime Wedge Coming to Terms with Future Inside Corona Bottle
After having nearly everything squeezed out of him, a local lime wedge says that he’s learning how to finally find peace inside of the Corona bottle it doesn't seem he's going to escape any...
Alaska Airlines Logo Only Person Smiling at Sea-Tac
After more than a week of canceled flights in and out of Seattle, officials confirmed that as of today the only person smiling at Sea-Tac International Airport is the Alaska Airlines logo taxiing up...
Galentine’s Day Gathering Swells into Category 5 Brunch Bender
The worst fears of those monitoring the inevitable havoc of a local Galentine’s Day gathering were confirmed late this morning when it made landfall at Chelsea Gumbel’s Pinterest-inspired breakfast nook as a Category 5...
New King County Mental Health Initiative Mandates Juanita’s Chips and Beecher’s Mac & Cheese be Covered by Insurance
Heeding the call to beef up local mental health resources as the Seattle area enters the thick of rainy post-holiday season during a seemingly never-ending pandemic, King County public health officials announced today that...
Idaho Announces State Capitol Wide Open for the Taking If Anyone Wants It
Feeling left out of the Jan. 6 Capitol Riot anniversary media frenzy, the State of Idaho suddenly announced today that its Capitol building in Boise is fully up for grabs if anyone wants to...
Mom Lusting for Le Creuset Dutch Oven Only Wants “Happy Children” for Christmas
Despite clearly biting her lip and shivering with pleasure as she stroked a Marseille blue Le Creuset Dutch oven at Sur la Table, local mother Diana McDougal confirmed today that all she wants for...
5 Essentials for Cozy Fall Weekend Camping in the Left Lane
Temperatures may be dipping and more rain be dripping, but none of that has to stop you from taking your time to enjoy a fun and cozy weekend out camping in the left lane....
