Mint-Condition Bellevue Sidewalk Tragically Trampled by Local Pedestrian
A sparkling stretch of mint-condition Bellevue concrete was tragically trampled today by an as-of-yet unidentified suspect who allegedly destroyed it by actually walking on...
Hiker Who Completed AllTrails Review for Rattlesnake Ledge Ready to Summit Everest
Local hiker and realistic expectation setter Jason Peters announced that, after completing a written AllTrails review for Rattlesnake Ledge today, he is now officially...
Local Historian Records Momentous Event for Future Generations
For the tenth year almost in a row, local historian Greg Keith spent New Year’s recording the Space Needle’s fireworks show with his iPhone,...
Man Trapped Inside Flaming Tesla Clearly Pathetic Attempt to Get Elon Musk’s Attention
Experts are confirming that a man who was trapped inside his flaming Tesla today after an alleged self-driving malfunction was clearly just the latest...
Joe Kent, Loren Culp Refuse to Concede Ugly Christmas Sweater Competition
Chaos erupted at an Olympia holiday party tonight when former Washington gubernatorial Republican candidate Loren Culp and recently unsuccessful Republican Washington State Representative candidate...
Gas Works Park Sledder Suddenly Becomes Lake Union Kayaker
In an amphibious feat the likes of which Seattle snow lovers had never yet seen, today one man sledding at Gas Works Park suddenly...
Holiday Choir Concert Features Record-Breaking Two Hanukkah Songs
A local holiday choir audience was left stunned today when the King County Community Chorus achieved the previously unthinkable milestone of including a record-breaking...
Tickets Selling Out Quickly for Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam
Event organizers for what in recent years has become Seattle’s hottest ticket say spectator spots for the annual Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam are...
Dave Chappelle, Elon Musk Refuse to Use They/Them Pronouns for Trans-Siberian Orchestra
After getting booed for 10 minutes straight at a San Francisco show earlier this week, brave free-speech activists Dave Chappelle and Elon Musk found...
City’s Sick Toddlers Announce Plans to Sneeze in Your Face
In a seemingly inevitable move the city feared was coming all week, today Seattle’s sick toddlers formally announced plans to sneeze in your face...
