Millennial Parent at Trunk or Treat Can’t Help But Feel Weird Telling Kid to Take Candy From Stranger in Van
One local millennial parent was struggling to adjust to new Halloween ‘Trunk or Treat’ traditions after years of being told to never take candy...
Boeing Threatens Striking Workers with Airline Tickets
After striking IAMAW members voted to reject the latest labor deal by 64%, Boeing is now threatening the union with airline tickets on Boeing...
Landlord Raises Pet Rent After Discovery of Wasp Nest
Today a landlord raised a local renter’s pet rent after discovering he had not disclosed keeping an adorable nest of pet wasps on the...
Rain Brings Wild Couch Hunting Season to a Close
As the taut, frost-bitten nips of winter inch closer and closer to the Emerald City with torrential bouts of rain, local furniture foragers are...
Portrait in Jimmy Carter’s Attic Looking Hella Good
Suspicions triggered every time the public sees current photos of President Jimmy Carter were confirmed today when historians found an old portrait of the...
New Dick’s-a-thon Route Just Endless Loop Between Pony and The Cuff
Today organizers of this weekend’s annual Dick’s-a-thon run—benefitting local search and rescue groups and the Washington National Parks Fund—announced a new alternate route that...
Heartwarming: City Officials Spell Out ‘One Seattle’ in Belongings Confiscated from the Homeless
Seattle residents were treated to a heartwarming gesture of civic unity today after city officials spelled the Mayor Bruce Harrell’s slogan "One Seattle" out...
First President to Honor Indigenous Peoples’ Day Treats Self to a Little Genocide
In honor of being the first United States president to comemmorate Indigenous Peoples' Day, today President Joe Biden treated himself to a little genocide.
“I’ve...
Libertarian Friend Finally Admits He’s Just An Asshole
After years of trying to get a confession of douchebaggery out of local Libertarian Chase Dickerson, his liberal friends are reporting today they finally...
SPD Recruitment Test Standards Lowered to Just Coloring Inside the Thin Blue Line
With Seattle Police Department recruitment flagging despite throwing most of the city budget at them, the SPD announced plans to boost enrollment by lowering...
