McDonald’s Employee Can’t Wait to Spend $60k Bounty on Overnight Stay at Hospital
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, today the brave minimum-wage worker at McDonald’s who led police to the man suspected of killing UnitedHealthcare CEO...
Leaf Starting to Think He’s Only One in City Not Getting Blown
After weeks of hearing it happen to just about every other leaf in the city, one local fallen leaf still on the ground by...
Parents Mortified as Kids Turn Elf on the Shelf Into Snitch in the Ditch
A pair of Seattle parents awoke to an alarming scene today when they discovered the festive Elf on the Shelf perched on their fireplace...
How We Brought Civility Back to City Hall by Breaking Tammy Morales’ Spirit Every Chance We Possibly Could
Guest Column by Seattle City Council President Sara Nelson
Today was a big win for bringing civility back to Seattle City Hall after we learned...
SPD Sweeps Homeless Encampment
Seattle police reclaimed another green space tonight, sweeping an encampment that had sprouted up on the lawn of Capitol Hill’s Central Lutheran Church.
“We had...
Netflix Fireplace Left Unattended Burns Through 300 Hours of Nature Documentaries
A local family returning from vacation this week was left astonished when they discovered an unattended Netflix fireplace in their living room had burned...
Trump Declares Black Friday Is Indian and Always Has Been
In a bold move just in time for the holiday shopping season, today President-Elect Donald Trump announced that Black Friday has always been Indian,...
Danish Cookie Tin Enjoys Final Moments of Not Carrying Sewing Supplies
Today one local Royal Dansk tin resting in a spread of Thanksgiving desserts with just a few Danish butter cookies left in its paper...
Scalper Bots Trample Consumers During Cyber Monday Sale
Once thought to be an escape from the bloodthirsty mayhem of Black Friday sales, countless Cyber Monday sale shoppers across Seattle say they were...
Bezos Travels to Amazon Rainforest to Search for Endangered Birds to Stuff Inside Turducken
Not satisfied with a level of decadence that would instantly kill a medieval peasant, Jeff Bezos reportedly traveled to the Amazon rainforest today in...
