Microsoft Implements Return to Work Somewhere Else Policy
Today Microsoft confirmed rumors that its Redmond headquarters is implementing a five days a week return to work somewhere else policy for all employees....
Bruce Harrell Quietly Changes LinkedIn Profile to Open to Work
After a 9.5-point Seattle mayoral primary loss to his underdog opponent Katie Wilson last week, his chief of staff’s resignation earlier this week, and...
Idiot Buys Blackberries at the Store
Several sources are reporting that a local idiot allegedly drove and walked straight past no less than three million free ripe blackberries growing literally...
Mayor Harrell Threatens to Move Back to Bellevue If Katie Wilson Wins This Fall
After coming up short on primary night despite his expected invincibility as the local political establishment’s PAC-funded pick, today Mayor Bruce Harrell threatened to...
Goodspaceguy Names Greatspacegal Successor to Intergalactic Political Campaign Empire
After the perennial, 25-time candidate was suddenly nowhere to be seen on this year’s primary ballot, today Goodspaceguy confirmed he is retiring and has...
Sen. Maria Cantwell Wishes All the Best for Palestinians She’s Approved Funding to Kill
In a touching and heartfelt post on social media this week, Washington U.S. Senator Maria Cantwell assured her constituents that she wishes all the...
Minnesota Dad Unconvinced That Seattle Isn’t on the Coast
Despite pleadings from a son who has lived in Seattle for more than a decade, Minnesota father of five Tim Edwards remains resolute in...
Grindr Crashes During Fleet Week
As sailors disembarked their ships for Fleet Week in Seattle after months at sea, Grindr immediately crashed, initiating a call for emergency hookup networks.
“I...
Opponents of Denny Blaine Nude Beach Propose DeGenitalized Zone
After failing to construct a playground intended to disrupt the historically queer nude beach at Denny Blaine Park and then failing to have the...
Ichiro Comedy Special Somehow Already Up on Netflix
Just a day after his unexpectedly humorous National Baseball Hall of Fame induction speech, Mariners legend Ichiro Suzuki somehow already has an hourlong standup...
