Naked Cyclist Wondering Where Everyone Is on Solstice
One lone naked cyclist was seen rolling through Fremont today wondering where everyone is for Solstice.
“Wait, did Solstice start on the 20th this year—or?”...
Tire Runoff Delicious, ‘But I Know It’s Bad For Me,’ Says Local Salmon
One local salmon seen binging gallons of tire runoff pouring into the suburban hometown stream he returned to today admitted he knows it’s bad...
Man Wins Ugly Sweater Contest By Wearing Startup Hoodie
A local man reportedly took home first place at an Ugly Sweater Contest today after showing up in what judges described as a “late-stage...
Local Doctors Reassure Public Rick Steves Still Doing Just Fine
Today local doctors suddenly swamped with questions about the current health of Rick Steves assured an anxious public that the internationally beloved, Edmonds-based travel...
Wrong Person Dies Again
Several reports are confirming that, once again, the wrong person has died.
“If you were hoping that if anyone died today that it would be...
Mt. Rainier Suffers Seasonal Affective Disorder, Will Winter in Tucson
Saying 500,000 years is long enough to stay in one place, Mt. Rainier announced today it’s relocating to the desert Southwest gem of Tucson,...
Atmospheric River Runs Wild Waves Out of Business
Admitting there was no way to out-compete the increasingly popular wet global warming phenomenon, today Wild Waves Theme Park in Federal Way announced it’s...
Couple Hikes Mount Si to Train for Townhome Stairs
With 3,100 feet of elevation gained in four miles, local hikers say Mount Si is the perfect local trail to train for more strenuous...
Federal Way Light Rail Extension Opens Stations in Star Lake and 5 Other Fictional Universes
Angle Lake is officially no longer the only Sound Transit light rail station that welcomes Seattle-area residents to the doorstep of a fictional universe:...
Family Not Sure What to Do with Other Trees in Costco Christmas 6-Pack
After getting a great Christmas tree deal at Costco and decorating one at home today, one local family admitted they were struggling with what...
