Genetically Enhanced ‘Super Doodle’ Escapes Rover HQ, Does Heckin’ Good Job Terrorizing Belltown
Seattle’s Belltown neighborhood is left in shambles today after a hulking, mutated ‘Super Doodle’ escaped overnight from a top-secret experimental lab housed within the...
Seattle Mariners Just Gonna Let Fan Throw Out Ceremonial First Inning, Too
As the struggling Seattle Mariners find themselves an indomitable
thirty-one games out of first place, Mariners skipper Scott Servais made the
unique call last night to...
Office Nerf War Gets Fucking Real As Dog Accidentally Hit In Crossfire
A Seattle office is in turmoil today after a lighthearted Nerf battle turned sour when the office’s resident dog, Princess Muffintop, was struck by...
The Stranger’s Kink Issue Begs Corporate Media To ‘Step On My Journalistic Integrity, Daddy’
In this week’s much requested reprint of The Stranger’s 2019 Kink
Issue, the city’s only biweekly included a heaving plea for their relentless
corporate media suitors...
Tragedy Strikes As Subscription Box Cave-In Traps Residents In Apartment Lobby
Tragedy struck the Capitol Hill community last night as an avalanche of Prime boxes and frivolous subscription orders trapped residents inside the Sage Quaff...
Area Cafe Really Pushing It With New Wood Milk
In a bold move, Madison Park’s Cafe Ohm has thrown its hat into the fierce dairy substitute menu game with its newest alternative, wood...
New Data Suggests Mariners Relievers Now Make Up 23% of Great Pacific Garbage Patch
In a joint effort between the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, The Ocean Cleanup, and Major League Baseball, researchers have discovered that nearly a quarter...
Indefinite SR 99 Construction Also Applying For Historic Landmark Status
Hot on the heels of The Showbox music venue’s push for landmark status, another enduring city feature has applied for landmark status of its...
New Startup “WatR” Enters Home, Tends To Plants You’re Murdering With Negligence
WatR, a new startup described as Rover for house plants,
is being hailed an overnight success for overwhelmed millennials struggling to
provide the absolute bare minimum...
“The Women’s World Cup Is a Joke” Says Man Who Hasn’t Seen Own Penis Since ‘97
Local sports fan Bart Thompson, whose general state of being could best be classified as a man-made environmental disaster, decided today to belittle the...
