Sara Nelson Fills Vacant Seattle City Council Seat With Concrete Eco-Block
Today Seattle City Council President Sara Nelson announced her decision to fill Teresa Mosqueda’s vacant council seat with Concrete Eco-Block, one of the several...
New Study Finds Burien Just Fictional Place We All Imagined in Collective Fever Dream
King County residents were shocked today after a new study revealed that despite being slightly aware that a place called “Burien” exists, it was...
‘Ghost of Black Friday Past’ Tramples Man and Takes His TV To Remind Him of True Meaning of Holiday
Today one man received a strong reminder of the importance of holiday spending season after the Ghost of Black Friday Past trampled him and...
Starbucks Adds to Holiday Line with Savory Gravy Frappuccino
Building upon the popularity of its signature Pumpkin Spice Latte, this week Starbucks is hoping to permanently add to its holiday line of seasonal...
Seattle Mariners Announce You Are Playing Outfield Next Season in Latest Cost-Saving Move
Despite bragging about being the most profitable team in baseball just last year, today the Seattle Mariners have announced that you will be playing...
Mayor Harrell Follows Shotspotter Ask with Shitspotter Technology to Detect Dog Poop Anywhere in City
As the Seattle City Council's budget committee debated whether to approve funding for Shotspotter’s controversial and reportedly ineffective gunshot detection technology, today Mayor Bruce...
Election Officials Add Ballot Drop on Mailbox Peak for Voters Who Really Want to Show Off
Ballot return rates spiked this week after King County Election officials recently added a new ballot drop-box to the top of Mailbox Peak for...
Dog Waiting for Mealtime Didn’t Sign Up For This Daylight Savings Bullshit
After mealtimes started suddenly being withheld from dogs across the city for what some canines are calling an eternity this weekend, one local pup...
Awestruck Man Riding Great Wheel Could See House From Here If He Could Afford One
One awestruck man enjoying the view from the Great Wheel today exclaimed that he could probably see his house from all the way up...
Witch’s Curse Dooms Man to Pick Wrong Line at Dick’s for Eternity
After callously cutting off a local witch and stealing her parking space at the Wallingford Dick’s, one man has reportedly been cursed to choose...
