Home Gardening Virtuoso Successfully Turns $800 into a Side Salad
As Seattle's home gardeners begin their fall harvest this month, today one mistro of the local homegrown produce scene impressed his family and friends after successfully turning $800 into a side salad.
“They said it...
Left Lane Camper Spotted Roaming I-5 Safely Relocated, Released onto Highway 99
Today state outdoor transportation life officials are celebrating the safe capture, relocation, and release of a local left lane camper onto Highway 99 after it had somehow dangerously scampered onto Interstate 5.
“Don’t know what...
Woodland Park Zoo Publicly Apologizes for Inviting Ozzy Osbourne to Perform at ZooTunes
Woodland Park Zoo has issued an apology today after heavy metal pioneer Ozzy Osbourne was caught trying to eat several bats housed in the nocturnal exhibit during his performance at the ZooTunes concert series.
“We...
Museum of Museums Acquires New Museum for Museum’s Collection of Museum Museums
The museum to end all museums, today the Seattle’s Museum of Museums acquired a new museum to add to the museum’s permanent collection of museum museums.
“Whether it’s a museum within a museum because it’s...
Summer Fit Tips to Look Sizzling in Ring Camera Footage Neighbor Posts on Nextdoor
Catch a glimpse of yourself on a Nextdoor post about a suspicious neighbor looking a little paunchier than desired? No problem: Just follow these summer fit tips to look so hot on your neighbors’...
Tuba Players and Accordionists to Finally Get Laid as Hispanic Heritage Month and Oktoberfest Approach
The change in seasons becomes official this week as the combination of Hispanic Heritage Month and Oktoberfest brings about the annual laying of the tuba and accordion players.
“I just love this time of year—the...
‘My Partner Lives in Angle Lake,’ Says Person Who Definitely Does Not Have Partner
Seattle resident Becca Burns is accused of lying today after telling friends and family that her new smart and hot partner resides in Angle Lake.
“It sounded like a match made in heaven when she...
Lake City Pot Shops and Strip Clubs Band Together to Oppose Yarn Store Opening
Signs reading “Put down the needles” and “Protect our neighborhood character” have sprouted up in the windows of businesses along Lake City Way as they protest the opening of local knitting shop Rain City...
Quiet Quitting Run Amok? This Woman Didn’t Think About Work for 9 Entire Minutes
Confirming local business managers’ worst fears that Gen Z and millennial workers would take this new quiet quitting TikTok trend too far, several witnesses confirmed that local employee Kristine Doyle went an entire 9...
Local 57-Year-Old Still Enjoying ‘Young Adult’ Status at Church
While some bemoan the dwindling numbers of faithful Christian followers at churches all across the Pacific Northwest, local 57-year-old churchgoer Sarah Bostwick says she’s still enjoying her 40-year-long status in her congregation as a...
