Beautiful Day to Read a Book Outside Actually Too Bright a Day to Read Outside
Thousands of people across Seattle are reporting that what at first seemed the most beautiful, picture-perfect day to read a book outside is actually...
Babeland’s New Geoduck Vibrator Recalled for Burrowing Too Deep to Dig Out
Today Seattle sex-toy giant Babeland announced it was already recalling its much-anticipated, new geoduck vibrator after multiple customer reports that they were burrowing too...
Anti-Umbrella Activists Announce Lineup for 50th Annual Bumbershoot Boycott
Celebrating its 50th year of refusing to attend a Seattle music festival named after an old-timey word for “umbrella,” today the PNW's most die-hard...
Independent Bookstore Awarded Purple Heart for Injuries Sustained In Combat with Amazon
Today courageous Greenwood independent bookstore, cafe and devoted third place for artists and old ladies talking shit about their husbands, Couth Buzzard Books, was...
Seattle’s Man Buns Blossom As Spring Finally Underway
Long tucked into beanies and snapbacks, Seattle’s man buns are finally emerging from their cotton cocoons and blossoming into waves of follicle foliage just...
Is It Actually Spring or Are You Being Sunlighted?
You know what they say: If you’re in a season that feels and looks too good to be true, it probably is. Here are...
Hipster in Denim Romper Actually Can Change Tire
In a shocking turn of events today, hundreds of people reported witnessing that at least one Capitol Hill hipster wearing a denim romper actually...
Man Picking Nose In Background of 70,000 UW Cherry Blossom Photos
This week one local man who failed to discreetly pick his nose wound up in the backgrounds of at least 70,000 photos of this...
Depressed Californian Moves Up to Seattle for More Sun
Tired by a constant barrage of one rainstorm after another this winter and even early spring, today Californian Katie Berry moved up to Seattle...
6’5 Guy Not Such Hot Shit Now That He’s Blocking Everyone’s View at The Showbox
One local 6’5 guy has gone from dating-app darling to most hated man at The Showbox and perhaps beyond today after parking himself in...
