Boeing Assures Public Blue Angels Are Safe Because They’re Made for the Military, Not You People
After spending the first half of the year obliterating the public’s confidence in their ability to safely assemble planes and spaceships, today Boeing assured...
Seattle Finally Concedes Portland is the Better PNW City for Newcomers to Move to
The City of Seattle put years of debate to rest today when it finally and officially conceded that Portland is definitely the better major...
The Needling’s Online Real Fake Newsroom Workshop
Want to be a real fake news (satire) reporter too? Join The Needling’s virtual/online 3-week real fake newsroom workshop!
Dates: Wednesday nights of Oct. 7,...
Portland Hipsters Become Republican to Keep Portland Weird
Ever committed to their “Keep Portland Weird” vows, this week all of Portland, Oregon’s hipsters accepted the new reality of what it now means...
Scarecrow Video Auctions Off Director’s Cut of Zapruder Film
As part of the Save Our Scarecrow fundraising campaign, Seattle's last video store has made the difficult Hail Mary-decision to auction off its rare...
Cryptozoologists Still Hunting for Fabled ‘Defunded Police Force’
Despite years of diligent searching, local cryptozoologists report they are still struggling to produce evidence of Seattle’s mythical "Defunded Police Force."
"We've had no luck...
Home Depot Unveils New Line of Succulents That Only Need Water Every Other Weekend for Divorced Plant Daddies
In an effort to cater to their growing divorced plant-daddy demo, today Home Depot announced a new line of “Split-Custody Cacti” that only require...
Mariners Announce Randy Johnson to Be Named Interim Moose
In a continual effort to remind the city that 1995 happened, today the Mariners announced that former pitcher Randy Johnson will be taking on...
Mariners Announce Plans to Drop Out of Season
Following a catastrophic performance against the Los Angeles Angels, the Seattle Mariners announced today that they plan to bow out of this season’s pennant...
Report: World Cup Games Slated to Be Played in Seattle Will Now Be Filmed in Vancouver
While the world is distracted by the Paris Olympic games beginning this week, today FIFA quietly announced that the six 2026 World Cup games...
