San Andreas Earthquake Welcome to Launch West Coast Off to Sea Anytime Now
Following a prolonged vote-counting process that threatens to drag on for what little remains of our doomed lives after Donald Trump’s probably successful bid...
Bald Eagles Suddenly Renewing Their Passports
Today the Washington Fish & Wildlife Service reported a sudden and swift surge of bald eagles attempting to renew their passports over the last...
Burnt Out ‘Seattle Pubic Storage’ Sign Significantly Less Charming Than ‘Tacoma Elf Storage’
One local storage facility manager's attempt at viral glory flopped today after the public found his “Seattle Pubic Storage” sign significantly less charming than...
Martin Selig Evicts Three Ghosts Sent to Teach Him a Lesson About Christmas
Local real estate mogul Martin Selig reportedly kicked three supernatural visitors to the curb early today after the ghosts attempted to teach him a...
Microsoft Day of the Dead Celebration Reaffirms Commitment to Diversity and Inclusion for Anyone but Palestinians
In a touching display of allyship to communities of color, today Microsoft encouraged its employees and customers to celebrate the Mexican holiday of Day...
‘I’ve Canceled My WaPo Subscription,’ Announces Amazon Prime Member
Today it was revealed that one of the 200,000 people to cancel their Washington Post subscriptions this last week after its owner Jeff Bezos...
The Needling In-Person Real Fake Newsroom Workshop
Want to be a real fake news (satire) reporter too? Join The Needling’s *in-person* 3-week real fake newsroom workshop!
Dates: Tuesday evenings of Oct. 6, 13,...
Poll Shows Seattleites Actually Wouldn’t Mind If 8 Drooling Zombies on City Council Asked for Brains
A new poll out today revealed a majority of Seattle residents actually wouldn’t mind if the eight drooling zombies on the City Council asked...
Cash-Strapped Renter Actually Pretty Stoked About Free Eggs and Toilet Paper Thrown at House
With rents rising and grocery prices soaring, one local man was quietly thrilled after his house was vandalized with eggs and toilet paper during...
New Bellevue Monopoly Game to Include One Rail Option Surrounded by Free Parking
In a dramatic departure from its classic format which includes four rail lines, a sneak peek of Hasbro’s new Bellevue-themed Monopoly game shows it...
