Macramé Barricades Spring Up at Urban Craft Uprising
Radical vendors armed with hot glue guns erected barricades of knotted hemp macramé at Seattle Center today in yet another Urban Craft Uprising.
“We have...
Strait of Juan de Fuca Admits to Experimenting in College
In a new memoir washing ashore this spring, the Strait of Juan de Fuca chronicles its youth and admits to being not quite as...
Leashed Mark Zuckerberg Introduced as Trump’s First Presidential Pet
American history was made today after President Trump introduced a leashed Mark Zuckerberg as his first official presidential pet.
"We always wondered why President Trump...
‘Don’t Worry, I Used to Fly in the Midwest,’ Announces Pilot Moments Before Slowly Sliding Into Parked Planes
As delays at Sea-Tac Airport continue to pile up due to slippery runway conditions, one Midwestern pilot reassured his passengers he was more than...
Green Lake Snowman Absolutely Riddled With Goose Poop
A fanciful frolic through the snow turned messy today after a Green Lake snowman was found to be absolutely riddled with goose poop.
"Oh God,...
3 Ways to Remember Bellevue Still Sucks Even Though They Have Snow Right Now and You Don’t
Even the most confident of Seattleites can sometimes waver in their faith that Bellevue truly and completely sucks at all times in every way,...
New Study Finds 90% of Cat Owners Experience oofjfjjggigiiiiifohhhjjfjfjjjjj))))))))))))))
A new study published today suggests that up to 90% of cat owners experience oofjfjjggigiiiiifohhhjjfjfjjjjj)))))))))))))) the moment they leave their keyboard unattended.
"During a new...
Boeing Reflexively Publishes Apology Statement
Despite no evidence that the most tragic airplane crash over U.S. soil in years had anything to do with Boeing’s increasingly questionable manufacturing practices,...
Rob Saka Filibusters Own Coffee Order
A line wrapped around the Delridge Uptown Espresso this morning as Seattle City Councilmember Rob Saka held up traffic filibustering his own coffee order."What...
DEI Hero? This Business Leader Only Hires People Used to Working Harder for Way Less Money
As the new presidential administration and his allies aim to kill Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) programs across the country, today one heroic Pacific...
