Bill Nye Makes History as First Speed Walker to Earn Presidential Medal of Freedom
Years of only celebrating the achievements of athletes in every other sport at the White House came to an end this weekend when Bill...
Alaska Airlines Announces Emotional Baggage Fee
In another financial blow to air travelers after Southwest said it was ending its free two-checked bags policy, today Alaska Airlines said it would...
National Weather Service Ordered to Deport La Niña
Under the threat of even more mass layoffs, today President Donald Trump ordered the National Weather Service to deport Pacific weather pattern La Niña.
“We...
Starbucks CEO Announces Mass Layoffs Due to Quarterly Earnings Being Down or Up or the Same
Today Starbucks CEO Brian Niccol announced an even larger mass layoff for the corporate coffee giant after quarterly earnings were way down or up...
Sen. Patty Murray Busted Embezzling Extra Hour of Sunshine
Just weeks after re-introducing a legislative effort to make Daylight Savings Time permanent, U.S. Senator for Washington State Patty Murray was busted embezzling the...
New Local Brewery Only Allows Dogs and Kids
The latest addition to the Ballard Brewery District, Playground Brewing Company, says that it’s taking the family-friendly brewery model to the next level by...
Nazi Knocked Out Cold by Mean Capitol Hill Sticker
In a viral video that's already been shared over a million times in its first 24 hours, a Nazi agitator is seen harassing people...
Seattle Man Sells Out to Big Umbrella
In a shocking move that rattled friends and relatives today, Pacific Northwest native and temperate climate shill Rick Frink caved and bought an umbrella.
“My...
SeaTac’s ‘No Parking on Airport Road’ Signs Officially Declared a Must-Stop Attraction
This holiday season, skip Zoolights and head to SeaTac’s airport road, where drivers are dazzling onlookers in a festive display of hazard lights, abrupt...
Uncontacted Tribe of Mall Santas Discovered in Abandoned Pacific Place Mall
The local scientific community is buzzing today following the discovery of an uncontacted tribe of Mall Santas living inside the abandoned Pacific Place Mall.
"It's...
