Spoiled Brat Riding Out Rest of 2020 in Womb
While the entire world collectively suffered the wrath of 2020, one spoiled unborn brat is reportedly on track for sparing himself the misery of...
Submit Headlines
Have a hot headline tip for The Needling? Or, even better, a few? E-mail headlines (not full articles) to Submit@TheNeedling.com. We'll send you more...
Seattle Underground Tour Launches Virtual Showings of City’s Creepiest Apartment Laundry Rooms
Anxious to begin hosting informative local tours again, today the Seattle Undeground Tour launched its first live virtual showings of the city’s most creepy...
Puppy Bowl Star Ejected for Unnecessary Ruffness After Illegal Snoot-to-Snoot Contact
Controversy has marred the annual Puppy Bowl today after Linebarker Vontaze Barkfict was ejected for a late hit on Snifferback Pup Hamilton that resulted...
Alarming Rise in Podcasts Includes Launch of ‘The Needling Update’
This week The Needling added to the already dangerously rising levels of podcasts in the world with its launch of The Needling Update, now...
Report: U.S. Cases of New Podcasts Reaching Dangerous New High
As the pandemic heads into its second year, officials say that catastrophically high U.S. cases of new podcasts are showing no signs of abating.
“We...
PNW Thanks Hawaii for Handling ‘Volcano Eruption’ on 2020 Bingo Cards
Residents across the Pacific Northwest expressed relief today that Hawaii stepped up overnight to handle the inevitable 2020 Bingo call-out for the “volcano eruption”...
Mark Wahlberg Somehow Already Starring in Movie About Capitol Assault
In what many have called “that sounds about right,” it was announced today that Mark Wahlberg would be starring in a Michael Bay-produced “action-packed...
Conservative Uncle Excited to Pretend to Care About Budget Deficits Again
Shaking off his disappointment at the outcome of November’s election and subsequent court cases, conservative uncle Harry Garrett formally announced he’s looking forward to...
Tacoma PD Claims Officer ‘Feared for New Paint Job’ Before Plowing Car Into Crowd
Although videos of a Tacoma police officer ramming his cruiser through a crowd over the weekend look and sound disturbing, local police union president...
