After opening to all other categories, today Governor Jay Inslee officially opened up Phase 9z vaccine eligibility for all unvaccinated motherfuckers who aren’t motherfucking vaccinated yet.
“Starting today, Washington state is opening vaccine appointments to all fucking motherfuckers who haven’t even tried to get their first shot yet and cordially inviting them to finally go get their fucking shots,” Inslee said at a press conference today. “Actually, you don’t even need an appointment at many locations now. All you have to do to unfuck yourself and your fellow Washingtonians is fucking walk in and get your fucking shot, you fucking motherfuckers.”
Although there was reportedly some initial confusion, Inslee later confirmed that fuckfaces, fucksticks and fuckwads are also now eligible.
“Yes, I mean, really everyone age 16 and above has been eligible for a while now,” Inslee said. “We just wanted to make it absofuckinglutely clear that includes any and all fucking motherfuckers mindfucking themselves out of getting the fucking shots and ending this fucking pandemic. Even if you fucking hate needles, we’re kindly asking you to please just get this fucking over with.”
Due to continued confusion, Inslee says later in this week he plans to specify that vaccine eligibility is now also open to all unvaccinated Eastern Washington motherfucking fuckwits.
