Long envious of the beloved biohazard to the north, Seattle’s Gum Wall, today Tacoma made official its own community-sourced art attraction: The Tacoma Used Band-Aid Wall.

With Tacoma’s own bile inducing pitstop, the city hopes it will quickly climb the rankings of the world’s germiest tourist attractions.

“The byproduct of your cuts and scrapes can now be woven into the fabric of the city of Tacoma,” said Used Band-Aid Wall spokesperson Ted Mazzagatti while ripping a hair-laden bandage from his arm for the wall. “We welcome the injured from all walks of life to apply their gooey Band-Aids, hairy Band-aids, filthy Band-Aids squeamishly scraped from the bottom of your shoe–they’re all welcome on our brand new art installation!”

Horrifying prom-posals, love hearts made from medical wrappings and an alarming amount of local wildlife trapped in the leftover adhesive are among the crowd-sourced features adorning the wall. A group of intrepid artists have also begun to put their own creative flourishes on the biomedical mosaic. 

“You wouldn’t believe the creativity that some of our local contributors have brought to the project,” Mazzagati said. “There’s already a technicolor mural dedicated to hometown icon Dale Chihuly made entirely of Ninja Turtle Band-Aids. Chihuly’s eyepatch? Painstakingly constructed from old crusty scabs. I can’t help but retch with pride every time I stroll by.”

Mazzagatti hopes that one day the recognizable sterilized musk of America’s favorite adhesive bandage can become the new aroma of Tacoma.

Previous articleGuy Who Came Up with Seasonal Affective Disorder Acronym Very Proud of Self
Next articleLocal Man’s Holiday Party to Celebrate Annual Apartment Cleaning