Despite the perennial protests of people who would rather have Christmas sooner than later, overnight the nation once again fell back one month for Halloween Savings Time to have an extra October.
“I know a lot of people who can’t wait to get their Christmas tree up and start playing holiday music don’t like it, but I would personally be in favor of Permanent Halloween Savings Time,” said Luna Gaines. “In the meantime, I love waking up on that special fall day when I know I have a whole extra month of peak fall color and spooky activities to enjoy.”
Halloween Savings Time was first instituted in 2020 when Fall Bitches convened and successfully made the case for it, famously saying in a Congressional Zoom Hearing “Why the fuck not? We’re all going to die, it’s the end of the world, just let us have this.”
“It may have made sense during the pandemic to drag people’s favorite holidays out over as much time as possible to avoid thinking about way less fun things going on in the world, but that’s all over with and everything’s fine now,” said Christmas season lover Lisa Christensen. “But hear me out: What if we fell forward to December?”
Others said they’re always a little thrown off the sudden time shift to 744 hours earlier.
“I always forget to set my calendar back on the first Sunday of November and then miss the apple-picking weekend my friends organized for the first weekend of second October,” said Henry Carta. “While I can adjust pretty quickly, it’s my dogs I feel bad for—I know they’re expecting to steal Thanksgiving food off the table sometime soon, but then the poor things have to wait one more month.”
At press time, Washington Sen. Patty Murray assured her constituents that she’s still doing everything she can to make Halloween Savings Time permanent by getting enough support in Congress for her bipartisan Spookytime Protection Act.
