Everybody Run: The Cat Learned How to Hold a Knife
One local family was sent running away in a frenzied panic Tuesday night after their cat ‘Mewcifer’ suddenly learned how to hold a knife...
WSDOT Announces Plan to Build Bridge Out of Decommissioned Ferries
After months of struggling to meet demand for sailings across Puget Sound with fewer and fewer operational ferries from its rapidly aging fleet, today...
Denny Blaine Residents Furiously Texting Mayor Harrell About Oiled-Up Blue Angels Pilots Playing Beach Volleyball
The Blue Angels pilots’ attempt to unwind with a game of oiled-up beach volleyball was the source of controversy today after Denny Blaine residents...
Cryptozoologists Still Hunting for Fabled ‘Defunded Police Force’
Despite years of diligent searching, local cryptozoologists report they are still struggling to produce evidence of Seattle’s mythical "Defunded Police Force."
"We've had no luck...
PAX West Attendees Devoured by GameShark
Today tragedy struck PAX West, the largest gaming convention on the West Coast, when a number of attendees were devoured by GameShark."I don't know...
CEOs Concerned Employees Are ‘Quiet Profiting’ Off Their Labor
The business world was set into a panic today after a new report revealed CEOs have found evidence that their employees have begun doing...
Touching! How Kevin Spacey Inspired Former SPD Chief to Come Out as Gay Right After Being Accused of Sex Crimes
In the most touching story yet this Pride Month, this week former Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz thanked actor Kevin Spacey for helping him...
Half of America Celebrates Independence Day by Moving to Canada
Millions of Americans celebrated Independence Day today by patriotically packing everything they own up and moving out to live on their own in Canada.
“You...
Uber Promises Big Tip If Sara Nelson Delivers Their Agenda On Time
With a vote on the rollback of the gig worker minimum wage bill expected as soon as next week, Uber is reportedly offering to...
President Biden Visits Seattle to Fundraise, Beat the Shit Out of Macklemore
President Joe Biden arrived in Seattle Friday afternoon with a busy weekend itinerary that reportedly includes a campaign stop, several fundraisers, and challenging Macklemore...
