PAX West Attendees Devoured by GameShark
Today tragedy struck PAX West, the largest gaming convention on the West Coast, when a number of attendees were devoured by GameShark."I don't know...
CEOs Concerned Employees Are ‘Quiet Profiting’ Off Their Labor
The business world was set into a panic today after a new report revealed CEOs have found evidence that their employees have begun doing...
Touching! How Kevin Spacey Inspired Former SPD Chief to Come Out as Gay Right After Being Accused of Sex Crimes
In the most touching story yet this Pride Month, this week former Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz thanked actor Kevin Spacey for helping him...
Half of America Celebrates Independence Day by Moving to Canada
Millions of Americans celebrated Independence Day today by patriotically packing everything they own up and moving out to live on their own in Canada.
“You...
Uber Promises Big Tip If Sara Nelson Delivers Their Agenda On Time
With a vote on the rollback of the gig worker minimum wage bill expected as soon as next week, Uber is reportedly offering to...
President Biden Visits Seattle to Fundraise, Beat the Shit Out of Macklemore
President Joe Biden arrived in Seattle Friday afternoon with a busy weekend itinerary that reportedly includes a campaign stop, several fundraisers, and challenging Macklemore...
Sound Transit Closes UW Station to Protect Public from Exercising, Witnessing Free Speech
Out of an abundance of caution, today Sound Transit suddenly closed its University of Washington Station to ensure the public was safely protected from...
North Bend Zebra Just Gonna Lie Low with Sasquatch Until This All Blows Over
After a stressful few days of being chased and mobbed by local paparazzi, today the North Bend Zebra is reportedly lying low in a...
Congress Rushes to Draft Emergency Legislation on Israel-Palestine War to Ban Macklemore
Afraid support for Israel’s relentless assaults on Palestine could further wane without taking quick action, Congress is reportedly rushing to draft bipartisan emergency legislation...
‘You Didn’t See Shit,’ Local Says to California Tourist Witnessing Sunny Seattle Spring
As locals basked in sunshine utterly surrounded by greenery, flowers, sparkling waters, and unbeatable snow-capped mountain views almost too beautiful together to be true,...
