Seattle Mariners Apologize for ‘Geoduck Run’ Mascot Race
Although it had initially hoped to capitalize on the success of their new “Salmon Run” race with another sea-animal themed sprint, today the Seattle...
Desperate Mayor Attempts to Summon NBA Franchise Back by Chanting ‘SuperSonics’ In Mirror 3 Times
Staffers reportedly found Mayor Bruce Harrell in a City Hall bathroom today, sweaty and distraught, chanting “SuperSonics” while splashing a mirror and then twirling...
Professional Pickleball and 5 Other Sports to Follow Instead of Letting the Mariners Disappoint You Again
Look: It’s Opening Day and the Mariners are looking fine and crisp in their new uniforms for the first game of the season. It’s...
Russell Wilson Texts Ex-City Seattle Just to Check In, See How Things Are Going
In a text he sent tonight just to check in on how his former city lover was doing, former Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson told...
King County Elections Adds Seahawks Head Coach Opening to Ballot in Attempt to Increase Voter Turnout
After record-low voter turnout last November, today King County Elections announced it’s partnering with the Seattle Seahawks to include choosing the football team's next...
Alaska Airlines Changes ‘Proudly All Boeing’ Signs on Planes to ‘Oops! All Boeings’
After years of displaying the hand-painted tagline “Proudly All Boeing” on the sides of its planes, today Alaska Airlines announced it would be retiring...
Seahawks Honor Pete Carroll By Hanging His Gum From the Rafters
Following the shocking news that Pete Carroll would be stepping down as head coach, the Seahawks announced today that they would be honoring the...
In Touching Final Move of Conference Solidarity with Washington State, UW Cougs It
Tonight—in an unexpectedly sentimental final gesture of Pac-12 Conference solidarity and nod to their historic rival, Washington State—the University of Washington voluntarily “Coug'd it”...
Seattle Mom Encourages Unemployed Son to Contact Seahawks HR Regarding Head Coach Position
Upon hearing the news of Seattle Seahawks’ Head Coach Pete Carrol’s departure, Seattle mom Kathy Davis, 78, is encouraging her unemployed son Patrick, 34,...
WSU’s Entire Existence Forgotten Immediately After Final Apple Cup Game
After the last real Apple Cup game the Huskies and Cougars played against each other as longtime Pac-12 rivals today, it’s being widely reported...
