Bark at the Park Night Game Postponed After 9,000 Dogs Run on Field to Chase Baseball
Chaos erupted at T-Mobile Park tonight, postponing the Mariners’ sold-out ‘Bark at the Park’ game, after a flurry of furry four-legged friends rushed the field to chase after the baseball.
“I don’t know how we...
Male Feminist of the Year? This Man Went to a Seattle Storm Game in a Sonics Jersey
The Ms. Magazine newsroom was abuzz today upon hearing that local basketball fan and male feminist Colin Riley attended a WNBA Seattle Storm game last night in his favorite Sonics jersey.
“I mean, wow: I’m...
Mayor Harrell Still Waiting for ESPN Commentators to Talk About His Complete Sweep of Seattle’s Homeless
Hopeful national sports media won’t overlook how he used his ageless skillset as a high school jock to complete sweeps of Seattle’s homeless at SoDo and Pioneer Square this month, Mayor Bruce Harrell is...
Seattle Still Choked with Smoke After Russell Wilson Attempts to Cook at Lumen Field
Just when the Puget Sound region thought they were going to be granted some respite from the Bolt Creek Fire, former Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson has further choked Seattle in smoke after attempting to...
Gov. Inslee Updates COVID Guidelines to Mandate Aaron Donald Must Stay 6 Feet From Russell Wilson
Ahead of today’s wild-card matchup between the Seattle Seahawks and the Los Angeles Rams, Governor Jay Inslee made a surprise announcement that he would be updating the state’s COVID-19 guidelines to mandate that Rams...
DSM-5 Now Includes Mariners Fanhood as a Legitimate Form of Depression
After years of vacillation about whether it should be officially labeled a psychological disorder, the National Order of Psychiatrists confirmed today that they’ve added Mariners fanhood into their DSM-5 diagnostic manual of mental health...
King County Elections Adds Seahawks Head Coach Opening to Ballot in Attempt to Increase Voter Turnout
After record-low voter turnout last November, today King County Elections announced it’s partnering with the Seattle Seahawks to include choosing the football team's next head coach on the February Special Election ballot.
“It turns out...
Local Pedestrian Crosses Street Record-setting 27 Times in One Block
In a stunning commitment to not come within six feet of any people on her afternoon walk today, local pedestrian Megan Wallace crossed the street a record-breaking 27 times all within one neighborhood block.
“It...
Marshawn Lynch Formally Passes on “Beastquake” Sash and Crown to Taylor Swift
After days of turmoil and debate over whose fans seismologically shook the home of the Seahawks harder, today former running back Marshawn Lynch formally passed on his “Beastquake” sash and crown to Taylor Swift.
“I’m...
Alaska Airlines Changes ‘Proudly All Boeing’ Signs on Planes to ‘Oops! All Boeings’
After years of displaying the hand-painted tagline “Proudly All Boeing” on the sides of its planes, today Alaska Airlines announced it would be retiring the phrase and replacing it with “Oops! All Boeings.”
“So, it...
