QAnon Wins Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year
After spending the year taking the nation by storm, today The Independent Gaming Association announced that QAnon has won Best Augmented Reality Game of...
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Flattered, But Can’t Accept Care Packages with Donated Organs
With the fate of American democracy hanging on the ability of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to remain healthy, Justice Ginsburg has reportedly...
Following Campus Attacks, Betsy DeVos Eager to Hear Virus’s Side of the Story
Although recent school and college reopenings immediately resulted in raging COVID-19 outbreaks infecting thousands of students and nearby residents, today U.S. Secretary of Education...
Desperate Republican Party Exhumes Ronald Reagan’s Body for RNC
With President Trump’s poll numbers lagging behind and desperation setting into the Republican party, his sons, Eric and Don Jr., have reportedly exhumed the...
Mississippi Flag to Be Replaced with Crumpled Lynyrd Skynyrd T-Shirt
Following the shocking announcement that Mississippi would finally be retiring its controversial Confederacy-themed state flag, Mississippi Governor Reeves announced today that their new flag...
Congress Antitrust Hearing Begins With 2-Hour Bezos Testimony on How Printers Work
Virtual proceedings of the historic Congressional Antitrust Hearings were marred by technical difficulties today when Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner spent two hours grilling Amazon CEO...
Betsy DeVos Deploys Child Shield to Save Self From Sneezing Man
U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos was shaken today following an incident that forced her to grab a nearby child to shield herself from...
Single Lucid Moment in 4 Weeks Praised as ‘Very Presidential’
The President took a momentary pause from hooting at the podium like a monkey congratulating itself for pissing on its own balls today to...
Joe Biden Endorsement Mumbled Under Breath
As August’s Democratic National Convention draws near, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has secured another important endorsement today from a local representative who took...
GOP Considers Allowing Women to Vote by Male
Although national Republican leadership are against expanding vote-by-mail access that could reduce virus transmission while increasing participation in this November’s presidential election, all announced...
