Publicly Threatening to Lose Your Motherfucking Shit and 5 Other Great Ways to Ask for More Civility
Guest Column by District 5 Seattle City Councilmember Cathy Moore
We live in extremely politically divisive times, and that’s why it’s more important than ever to ask for more civility by repeatedly publicly threatening to...
Pacific Place Mall Offered Up on Buy Nothing Group
After a series of unsuccessful listings elsewhere, today struggling local mall Pacific Place was spotted for offer on the Buy Nothing Downtown Seattle Facebook group.
“Give: Cool vintage late-90s mall! Recently renovated, lots of unrented...
Bellingham Changes Name to West Moses Lake in Hail Mary Attempt to Deter Transplants
Citing a drastic need to discourage transplants, Bellingham has officially changed its name to West Moses Lake in a last-ditch effort to further deter the influx of over 357,000 new residents daily.
“We wanted to...
City Council Defunds Police Again with 23% Retroactive Raise That Only Goes to 2021, Not 1851
The Seattle Police Department was once again defunded today when the Seattle City Council approved a new union contract that only secured officers six-figure starting salaries and 23% retroactive raises that only go to...
SDOT Admits It Always Thought ‘Vision Zero’ was About Getting to Zero Pedestrians
In an embarrassing and humbling admission, today the Seattle Department of Transportation confessed that for years they thought its “Vision Zero” goal had always been about getting to zero pedestrians, not zero pedestrian deaths.
“If...
Boeing Relieved UW Protesters Just Mad About Israel Stuff
Amid louder calls for the University of Washington to completely divest from them, Boeing expressed relief that UW protesters at the Board of Regents meeting today were only targeting the company for their complicity...
SPD Arms Officers With Bookzookas to Cover Library Closures
After this week’s announcement that Seattle libraries across the city would have to significantly reduce their hours, today Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz assured everyone that the reduced access to librarians and life-changing public...
Shoreline City Council Debates Who Gets to Hold the Giant Chainsaw at Light Rail Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony
Excitement over the opening of Shoreline light rail this August boiled over into a heated debate today at a Shoreline City Council meeting over who’s turn it is to hold the giant chainsaw at...
Seattle Public Transit Fan Forced to Act Like They Wish Light Rail Already Connected to Bellevue
As Sound Transit prepares to open the East Link light rail line in Bellevue and Redmond this weekend without a direct connection to Seattle due to construction complications, today local Seattle public transit fan...
Seattle Man Tragically Lured by Progressive Housing Policies into Spokane
Friends and family of once local Seattle man Jason Smith are reporting that he has been tragically lured all the way out to Spokane by far more progressive housing policies and they’re worried if...
