Santa to Leave Lumps of West Seattle Bridge in Naughty Kids Stockings
Naughty children could be in for a surprise this holiday season after reports emerged that Santa would be leaving large chunks of rubble from...
Elf on the Shelf Loses Job to Automation
A tenured seasonal employee was unceremoniously laid off today after one local family decided to replace their longtime Elf on the Shelf with Amazon’s...
Bruce Harrell Unveils Plan to Create 1,000 New Prison Beds for Homeless
Following up on his campaign promise to create 1,000 new beds for the homeless, today new Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell unveiled plans to generously...
Mayor Harrell to Extend Eviction Moratorium So Everyone Has Time to Move into Their Vacation Houses
After much anticipation over whether renters financially ravaged by the pandemic would suddenly be facing the end of Seattle’s eviction moratorium this weekend on...
Man Stuck in Aurora COVID Test Line Hoping to Make it Past Home Depot by Next Variant
With COVID cases surging and the Aurora testing line backed up for miles, one local man is holding out hope that he can make...
Ann Davison Disbarred from Garfield High School Mock Trial
Ann Davison, Seattle’s City Attorney-elect, was permanently disbarred from Garfield High’s mock trial team today when she kept interrupting a fictional murder trial to...
Durkan Gives Farewell Speech to Supporter
Today, on one of her last days in office, embattled Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan gave an impassioned farewell speech to a sitting room only...
The Needling’s Top 2021 Headlines
Although it’s hard to say which of The Needling’s 2021 headlines delivered the best of Seattle’s Only Real Fake News because we grew and...
‘Gender Pay Gaps Persist,’ Reports Newsroom Where Gender Pay Gaps Persist
Despite the inauguration of the first female Vice President in United States history earlier this year proving both sexism and racism are pretty much...
Elf Escapes, Recounts Harrowing Time in Captivity at Tacoma Elf Storage
For years, “Tacoma Elf Storage” was thought to be a fun, holiday lark by the owners of Tacoma Self Storage, but after a daring...
