OneBusAway Finally Adds ‘Never’ Notification for When Your Bus Has Fallen into the Void
Today’s new update to the OneBusAway app added a much-requested feature that now lists the arrival time status for buses as “never” whenever they...
Sound Transit’s New Escher-lators Broken in Three Different Planes of Existence
Sound Transit’s rollout of their new multi-directional conveyance system was spoiled today after its newly installed escher-lators already broke down in three different planes...
Google Nest Outside of Ballard Home Captures 400+ Rabid Raccoon Selfies
This week a local Ballard couple who installed a Google Nest cam to make their home safer discovered it had instead mostly just become...
Giant Hole in Front of Seattle City Hall Finally Converted into Giant Ball Pit
Finally giving up all hopes of a developer ever building anything inside the empty, gaping hole that’s been sitting in front of Seattle City...
Jeff Bezos’ Dog Walker Forced to Also Pee on Fire Hydrant
As conditions in Amazon facilities continue to come under fire, Jeff Bezos’ personal dog walker has stepped forward to reveal that he’s also forced...
Space Needle Waiting Whole Life for This Moment
As a suspected Chinese high-altitude surveillance balloon floated high over the US today, the Space Needle assured Seattle locals that it had been waiting...
Jealous Daffodil Day Flower Confesses It Ordered the Hit on Pike Place Market Cherry Trees
Just a week after eight beautiful cherry trees lining the entrance to Pike Place Market were butchered right before they were set to blossom...
Mayor Harrell Also Commits to Holding Cops Accountable As Long As They’re Also Black
As the nation mourns another heinous murder of a black person at the hands of police, Mayor Bruce Harrell promised Seattle today that—just like...
Bill Nye Breaks Bad; Establishes Evil Lair at Pacific Science Center
After spending decades as the face of educational TV programming, local authorities say Bill Nye the Science Guy has suddenly broken bad and established...
Every Virginia Mason Employee Replaced by Nun Whose Only Job Is to Refuse Your Abortion
In an effort to streamline its services and operations, today Virginia Mason Medical Center announced it’s immediately and permanently replacing all its employees with...
