‘Sooo … I Did a Thing … ,’ Says Landlord Raising Rent 10%
In a surprise announcement on social media this week, local landlord Stan Finck proudly and bashfully revealed that he has a rent increase coming to Greenwood in May 2023.
“I’ve been thinking about it for...
City’s Sick Toddlers Announce Plans to Sneeze in Your Face
In a seemingly inevitable move the city feared was coming all week, today Seattle’s sick toddlers formally announced plans to sneeze in your face sometime before the end of the month.
“We, the Toddler...
First-ever Mariner Moose Streaking Recorded at Mount Rainier National Park
For the first time in recorded history, today wildlife experts confirmed the first-ever sighting of a Mariner Moose streaking buck-naked at Mount Rainier National Park.
“It’s just beautiful to see those svelte muscles usually hidden...
Seattle Approves New Ranked-Choice Christmas Gift List Legislation
By a narrow margin, today Seattle became the first city in the country to approve ranked-choice Christmas gift list legislation.
“You used to have to go all-or-nothing with your top Christmas list choice,” said 11-year-old...
SPOG Head Slams City Leadership for Re-Un-Defunding the Police
In what he’s calling yet another unprovoked and unreasonable $15 million attack on local public safety, Seattle Police Officers Guild President Mike Solan said he is appalled that the city’s annual budget has once...
Local Tech CEO Promises Equal Pay, Equal Harassment
Today the CEO of local tech startup Bootstrappr announced they would be the first in the industry to ensure every single one of their employees, regardless of race or gender, receive both equal pay...
Report: 87% of Boomer Scary Stories Start ‘Once Upon a 3rd and Pine’
As the countdown to Halloween continues, a new report revealed that 87% of Boomer scary stories reliably start with ‘Once Upon a Third and Pine’.
“And when Tiffany finally found parking, she was in for...
Local Small Business Game Hunter Displays Latest Trophy in Denny Triangle
Local small business game hunter Jeff Bezos announced this week he’ll be displaying his latest trophy, the pink elephant, on his Denny Triangle Amazon campus for all to see.
“It was so beautiful wandering out...
Experts Find Smoking Filtered Cigarettes Reduces Risk of Breathing Seattle’s Air
A new public health study out today found that smoking filtered cigarettes significantly reduces the risks of directly inhaling air in Seattle.
“In addition to removing tar from your cigarette, our data shows it’s also...
‘Oooo, Someone’s Having a Campfire!’ Says Seattle Optimist
In a stunningly rare display of local optimism, one excited Seattle resident is wondering who is having a “cozy little campfire” tonight.
“Oh my gosh, I LOVE campfires—do you think it’s one of those cute...
